your love is too tainted
[by the memory of a boy
who will never be more
than a memory]
to give anybody else.

i saw a quote the other day
about emptiness
and how no amount of love
on this planet
can fill it
when it's sincere
and i couldn't help but think
of myself
as a black hole
gaping and bare
stealing kisses in the dark
and words out of the mouths
of babes
just for the thrill
just for the reassurance
that i am desirable
but nothing more

because he took
the rest of my capabilities
with him.

it would be a
privilege
to drown
with you.

i'm too human
for anyone to love.

i could never be with you
nothing about you is
quite right
your flaws aren't lovable
but it's nice to think
that they could be
that i could
be with you
if they were.

you still won't stay up
into the late hours of the night
to talk to me.

i don't know why i thought it'd be
different
this time.

*******.
i missed you.
but *******.

you say you miss me
like it's a chore.

i think i'm bleeding.