You think that he loved you,
I think you're mistaken.
Your memories floating,
in a rose-colored fog,

You think that it's over,
It's your heart he's taken.
I think that he's gloating,
I'm saying, you're wrong.

You think who you have now,
is lying and cocky,
just because the last one,
chose distance and pride,

I think that you allow;
your fear does the talking.
Just let go, and listen,
to whispers inside.

I think it's not over.
You know that you're wrong.
You write here, telling me,
Your love's not yet gone.

This time
A year ago
I was the same.
And yet, completely different.
Things were different.
But I feel that we're coming to a new beginning.
Something,
Better.
And yet exactly the same.
I'm about to feel beautiful
Again.

My heart and mind are tired now.
Yet, I still have the desire to be something different.
But this time,
When I plunge into the unknown,
It will be with knowledge,
And carefulness.
And a greater understanding
Of how to avoid mistakes.

I'm rocking the lesbian ponytail today.
Smoking a cigarette on my break
Like the delinquent I am.
My looks don't fit the description.
But my actions speak louder than looks.
And as ashamed as I am
To be myself,
I can't help but be fascinated;
This is who I wanted to be.
Why?

I think I've just experienced
The biggest dissappiontment in my life.
And it's humbled me.
But I don't know if I've learned the lesson.

To care
Is to give power.
To be without care
Is to have power.
But to have great power,
You must care about yourself,
And only others who care about you.
The ultimate power
Lies in priorities.
Sometimes you must
Ignore
your overly-kind moral compass.

I am bigger than you
Because I don't think that I am.
I'm trying so hard to let go.
I can look in the mirror now,
And see not my face, but his.
I don't want to be like him.
I don't want to hold
These insecurities he carried
When it was him that I loved.
Now I see here
This boy who is me, back then.
And I am he who was to afraid to love me.
I keep feeling that I'm ugly.
I don't want to be ugly.
Not now. Not when he is so beautiful
To me.
I pray for release
From this death within myself.

I needed someone like me,
When I first fell in love.
But instead, I got someone like him.
And when I realized I wanted
Someone more like me,
I ended up getting
Someone like who I
was.
And now
I'm someone like him.
And he (the new one)
Is someone like I used to be.
But never will be.
The first one ruined me.
He ruined me.
Or rather, I ruined me.
I'm sorry.