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Zoe Sue Mar 2018
I want to hate you
In your rightness
And wrongdoings
In your cold shoulder
And your warm embrace
I want to hate you
When the plans fall through
And when theyre more perfect than lottery winning dreams
I want to hate you
When i cant feel like enough
And when you arent there to see me thrive
I want to hate you when the nights are lonely
Or when listless lovers wont fill me up
I want to hate you
On cloudy days
And cloudless
On depression days
And joyous
I want to hate you
When friends ask how i am
Cause im so wrapped up in trying to hate you
I forgot how to love myself
So ready to blame you
Yet so scared to repair myself
I am so lost without you
That i just might find myself
Zoe Sue Mar 2018
Whats to be done in the wake of an earthquake, rapture the ground concrete with memories seeming more now like lava flowing through cracks burns the heels who walk a path dont try to look back there is only rubble there now heathen halt in the dusty mist of what was squint your eyes for the finding of freedom in the form of a face or a sky in the drink you gulp by maybe stray cats nestling a *** ankle or the weeds taking over the yard there is no fault in being the persecuted only fail when you see yourself victim rather than hero for the downtrodden need to see your smokey smile lead on the packs no chip off your shoulder we will have your back
Zoe Sue Mar 2018
Deranged distortions thinking i could contort just right foot red left foot blue twist and turn on trembling tip toes so i might fit into pocket or palm, remain calm if claimed clammed up im bearable woman being rearranged into commercial jingle ring "im good, how are you" stuck in head or throat tote a hoarse smile stinking of another blah facade forlorn forewarn follows fake plant growth in (t)his sunlight promised life to the rubber made grade points plucked like pencil pushing excuses, effort isnt tallied into parking lot anxiety attack lacking attendance peer remembrance of your presence in bleeding nailbeds ****** into sweatshirt smothered eraser faces, forgetful social graces self slap lap up launguage barrier breaks cant breathe without letting words escape race to wring the worry whimpers that echo out of bitten lips split a panicked pulse quicker and louder shout not now mouthy mislead slink in your seat enter dark disengage garble gag on empress embarrass
I have a history of feeling out of place in a classroom and theres a tremendous amount of anxiety that tags along with this. Without really analyzing one might think im entirely comfortable in class because my nervousness makes me word ***** everywhere when id really rather remain unnoticed. These outbusts are my symptom of being unsettled. Teachers dont understand my not coming to class and people dont picture anxiety the way it manifests for me. Anyways, enjoy
Zoe Sue Mar 2018
Flooded seed and an itchy tongue. Daddy told me motionless creatures in the road were only listening for earthquakes, now see a disaster less natural. Lightless life ***** food from a **** stained trough. The homeless man eats McDonald's in a community garden, we vacation in resort report portions of third world countries. Dont wanna see, eat tv screens when our popcorn runs out, bury our waste beneath the ground confound endangering species: we, dont appreciate nature unless we're festival campground packing wrapping drugs in the litter of something like liveliness post pictures with plants we plucked from a place think land is ours if we occupy the space but this isnt like we're used to cant just hit erase and if we're a part of this future why cant we look it in the face
Zoe Sue Feb 2018
Please please me
No its not easy
And yes ill strip down ******
Tucked flesh into trembling teeth
Nothing like this sweet release
Mindless sheath
Where I
Forget my shame in feeling
Faultless to the blind eye
When we are done
I turn away
Faced with the feelings
I cant cover in play
In fantasies i see
A me that is free
No hand on shoulder or hip
But I must concede
A need in needless desire
Roundabout thoughts that conspire
To wrap my worth in a bedsheet
Bite mark or bruise
Im wanted since
Another he showed me
Warranted power
But im no woman in a tower
I track testosterone
Like if i dont ill be ever alone
Settle in snug
Caught another slimy bug
Bedroom reuse
To love me
Without a he
Powerless till i arise
Stripped off self disguise
Sand off hand marks
Of heroes who couldnt hold
An aching empty mold
Tell me again
I can fill it with a friend
Or a poem
Or a pen
Scream that i dont need these men
Take them off the shelf
So i can tell myself
Please please me
Zoe Sue Feb 2018
Firsts of the night:
Backsass scruff
Back of a paddywagon
Band of boys
But before
All this
4 outfit tries
Opinions of three
Butterfly pre potion
Long hair and ripped jeans
House party
Warm smiles with new faces
Tittering across a stage
Teasing a held gaze
Judgement in blue
Drunk remembrance
A Mugshot sentence
Social network presence
New name infamy
Self loathing
Backtrack scruff
Pins and needles
Sleeping pill sequel
Leads up
To a new year repeal
At the altar I kneel
For a self forgiven
A better year to live in
Zoe Sue Feb 2018
You sleep much like a citys night
Squealing brakes on subway grates
Trickle down a rusty pipe
Leaky faucet to showering snores
Swingin **** chatter
Lining to living walls
That bear witness at
Writhing renewer
Shut out shut in
Classified conglomerate clasping
The thunder of a thousand thoughts
Or Dreams
A thousand thoughtful words
A thousand thoughtless
A thousand oohs
A thousand aaaahhhgonies
In repitition and random order
A hum to a hammer
A breath in harmonized heartbeats
Follows a breath plucked from puckered lips
Lush like advertised kisses
Stolen from a squeezed tight chest
Wont wake with a start
Even when your body quakes
To try and yank you from a mind
Hearing you murmur
Idle chatter at existense sans consciousness
Id like to caress your unconsious
Breathe calm into cavities
That slow that iron heart tempo
Astral project
Bait switch in place
Not a pain to replace
But if it could be the case
Id slink into your shaking skin
And claim it my own for the moon view
Then you may know a restful slumber
In Opposite minds rewound anew

In some corners before sleep we are lovers
I **** a soliloquy off your thumb
In starlight solace
Lament to lunar eyes
Sometimes too bright to look upon
Swelling softness swarms my gut with a glance
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