I never wanted to be your chore
The tedious task on a to-do list
Like dusty spaces we chose to ignore
Used up rain checks, couldn't resist

We once sang dishes from the sink
With a little *** pinch as I raise a glass to its place
I wear my fake glare, you whip out a wink
These parts we played with easier grace

But my clutter couldn't keep concealed
Clung to claustrophobic floors
And it seems your strip search revealed
My messy makeup shoved in drawers

And yes I still forget to shake the handle of the Lou
Ice dripped voice when you hear the water run
I scamper to get it, tail tucked out of view
Creep back up to your subtle shun

If I scrubbed beneath your stride
On hands and knees, you'd still loom above me
Gaze down at my slippery pride
Say "missed a spot I see"

Sometimes I break a branch or even sprout too few
But don't cut me down to size
Look what a year of tending can do
Grab a watering can together we'll rise

Single sneaker rolls down a road
As the dog barks at empty room corners
Limb shaking winds replace august heat
With an off key church hymn humming heart
And
Two toned makeup, matching stain on new---old shirt
Animal tested
Cheap
Incomplete
Like a José guzzle, airy gag
Shots of half assed smiles
Across an empty bar
Read half assed headlines
Bury corporate hatchets
In pocket or timepunch
Wish we stood for more

A single sneaker rolls down the road
Dog barks at empty room corner
Off key church hymn humming heart
Cheap.
José guzzle, airy gag
We shoot half assed smiles

Elan that lifts me above the clouds
into pure space, timeless, yea eternal
Breath transmuted into words
                Transmuted back to breath
        in one hundred two hundred years
nearly Immortal, Sappho's 26 centuries
of cadenced breathing -- beyond time, clocks, empires, bodies, cars,
chariots, rocket ships skyscrapers, Nation empires
brass walls, polished marble, Inca Artwork
of the mind -- but where's it come from?
Inspiration?  The muses drawing breath for you?  God?
Nah, don't believe it, you'll get entangled in Heaven or Hell --
Guilt power, that makes the heart beat wake all night
flooding mind with space, echoing through future cities, Megalopolis or
Cretan village, Zeus' birth cave Lassithi Plains -- Otsego County
        farmhouse, Kansas front porch?
Buddha's a help, promises ordinary mind no nirvana --
coffee, alcohol, *******, mushrooms, marijuana, laughing gas?
Nope, too heavy for this lightness lifts the brain into blue sky
at May dawn when birds start singing on East 12th street --
Where does it come from, where does it go forever?

                                                May 1996

In this house,
Volumes raise
In drinks
As in voices

Days dependent
On dad's dependency

Some nights
Bottle bottoms
Brew brutal words
Wonder if he bully's himself with them too

Warned watchfulness
Wait
For the wind up
Hope
For the wind down

Mom's voice tiptoes
When his snores begin to sound
This house
Sighs deeply

If this were a roller coaster ride
We'd be plummeting
Wind tugging at our faces
Your hands high
Salute the sun
Maybe wave goodbye
While mine cling tight
Petrified
I wanted to let go
I could feel my fingers loosening..
But then we were swooped up
Speeding round corners
To a tip top peak
Joyous screams
To nervous laughter
Here comes the drop once more