the trees make me sad
because they cannot see
their changing colors,
but do they still feel cold
in the winter?
they have no one to warm them
but the earthworms beneath their feet
and the squirrels within their chest.
the trees give so much
but they cannot be held
they cannot receive.

I want to write poetry
But
What am I to write about?

I could tell you about
The horse I had at 3
That my parents sold at 4,

Or the Taco Bell up the street
That was closed
For selling drugs out the back window,

Or even the time
That my dad crushed an ant
Into our old cement patio
And tears sprang to my eyes because
I was sure that the ant had a family somewhere
Who would expect him home any minute.

But those aren’t very pleasant things
And I’m not able to make rhymes,

So I am forced to face the truth
That maybe
I am not a very pleasant person.

I love you
Every night
       (Sometimes twice)
And although I adore
Being drenched in sweat
And shuddering uncontrollably,
The thing I look forward to the most
Is afterwards, falling asleep with you behind my eyes,
Imagining you in my arms,
Taking you with me, into my dreams.

I did something I haven't done in forever today
It was so simple that I can't believe it hasn't occurred to me before
I went and lay down in the garden, on the grass
under the sky and beneath the wreath of tree's
I know- I'm proud of me too
It made a lot of sense in my head
mainly because for the first time ever I managed
to clear my thoughts
have you ever tried?
I turned it all off for a split second of naturalistic bliss
and it was like a reboot and revival
of all the conundrums I have been trying to figure out for so long
it was like a little sprinkle of clarity over my day
I lay there and felt my own body, twitching on the itchy grass
I felt the wind blowing harmlessly on my skin
and I felt the goosebumps rise
it all felt so good
I put my hands up, and stretched out
appreciating my size
I placed my hands on my hips and delighted in feeling
my bones beneath my skin
I delighted in squeezing my own fleshy thighs and knowing they were mine
I pulled my legs up and set them down
just to know how I move
it was more powerful than a reflection in a mirror, because I really
knew, and felt myself for the first time in a long time
I have grown out of touch but I want to be back so badly  

I wondered with new found clarity, and not a single fear of
judgement of sensibility
I felt connected to something much bigger than me
bigger than you, and even bigger than the sky
I can't describe what it was,
but it seemed to love easily and forgive quickly
it had a serenity that I haven't know before
and a wisdom beyond all the years of time
I have very suddenly found ...what?
This God, Goddess, Deity?
an agnostic power, force of nature?
Maybe it's just the liveliness of outside
I don't know but I don't think anybody could put a name on it
I can't even begin to explore it's entirety
so with all that said and done
I think I had better go back tomorrow