I hurt you, and for that I'm truly sorry. I lead you on when I knew I shouldn't have. I acted like I was better than you knowing that you and I are equals.
No, I am not better than you.
But yes, it is wrong to assume before hand that I was being like everyone else.
So, if you ever get the chance to read this, please forgive me for my faults. But, also, understand yours.
I am not perfect. Not even a bit close. But I was not the only one in the wring in the situation.
I'm sorry for my wrongs, and I hope, even if you don't say so, that you are sorry for yours.

p l e a s e
l i f t
e v e r y  o u n c e  o f
a n g e r  a n d
s a l v a g e
e v e r y  f i b r e

I sometimes wonder who will be at my funeral, who really cares about me even after I die, who will be next to me when release my last breathe and my heart beats for the last time.
Will I find live by then? Will I have accomplished something important by then? Will I have changed somebody's life in a good way?

you knew
you always knew
when not a single soul knew, you did
i never had to tell you
you just knew
and now
no one knows
they don't know who i am
they don't know that i am not me
i am not venus
it's all just a facade
but there's something i'll always be
tu niña con pelos de muñeca

why did you lie?
you said you were fine. that you were getting better. you said you just needed time.
and now. all i have left are these memories. i'll never have actual closure.
i'll have to live with the painful reminder that we never actually said goodbye.
you got my hopes up. you got me thinking there would be a next time.
there was not. there will never be. there just can't be.
did you do it on purpose? or were you being optimistic?
it doesn't even matter anymore. it's too late. you're gone.
-a grieving daughter

i remember she used to always tell me, it's okay to cry.
she gave me that look that said everything. as if she was silently telling me than it was okay to not be okay, to be broken, to be absolutely destroyed.
i'll always remember that side hug and proud look. the hand squeeze and happy tone in her voice when she boasted about me.
i'll remember everything now that you're gone.

I have vices
Oh baby you know I do
But don’t judge
For I know you have vices too
And I don’t judge you