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Vanessa B Apr 2018
I want to die, or run away.
I want to be loved madly, and stay awake
throughout the night holding onto a hand that's not mine.
I want to cry a sea of despair
in the midnight sun reflection.
I want to die, or run away from this ****** up world.
I'm preparing myself to get killed
by drugs or something else.
I'm getting ready to be heartbroken once more.
I'm ready to die from sadness
and destroy my entire face by falling tears.
I just wanna die again and again.

I've been broken so many times,
the only thing alive in me are my hands.
My eyes are unable to see new faces.
My mouth is tired of loveless kisses
and getting ****** by a stranger.
My ***** is wet, but I feel regret.
Sometimes my legs and lungs don't work,
so I have to mistreat them.
My veins claim rest, my heart is aching.
I just want to die, or pretend to perish.
Vanessa B Apr 2018
I live with the constant thought of being lonely.
I'm often sad about my inability to get to love someone
and be loved back the way I deserve to be loved.
My unknown future love life haunts me everyday all day.
I fear the fact that I might never find "the one" for me.
I keep wondering about his face,
how does he look like, what kind of music does he listen to,
the color of his eyes and the way they might look at me.
I long for someone's touch, and
that very moment then two breaths collide after a soft kiss.
Daydreaming is a hobby for me,
but this time it's all about an empty romance.
I love somebody with nobody to love.
And I'm not really happy about it,
I cry most of the time when I'm by myself.
I'm by myself and I cry thinking about him.
That tall good looking guy with no face
or hair or voice.

Crying, loving, longing, wondering,
fearing, but living.

— The End —