I thought this was over why is it happening
Again?
I was happy and I thought I was healed
Why is this sneaking up on me in the shower
Why does it feel like my mind doesn't turn on until late at night?

The people that already know about my past are gone and I need to talk to someone who has been there

How treacherous are the days where all my insides fall out of my ears.
I forgot I had all those clogged arteries against my heart
Wrapping around the beating vessel like an umbilical cord around an infants head
Heavenly when it stops beating

I wonder why I blow up in your car and you pat my leg and tell me things will be okay but I don't believe you

I miss you again tonight and I want to ask how you are but it'll hurt you and it'll hurt me and I remember that I told you I don't love you anymore and something left your voice in the long pause but something left and I wanted to take back what I said but then I'd be faking it

**** WHY DO I STILL FEEL EVERYTHING WHEN IT COMES TO YOU I WANT TO FEEL NOTHING

This season makes me sad and I'm only on 25 milligrams. If I don't get away soon history will repeat itself