i'm sorry it's hard for me to trust people
i'm sorry that sometimes i think i can do it best
it's just that when you've been let down
so
many
times
it's hard to put faith in those who have the same capability
of letting you down
again

my heart aches for jealous souls
i wish that you stopped wanting what i had
i wish what you had was enough for you
because what you don't realize
if your own life isn't good enough for you
how could mine ever be?

i paint my nails yellow
because yellow is beautiful
and yellow makes me happy
and nothing bad can happen when the sun sets and gold streams through the windows in my house
i paint my nails yellow
because it's a reminder to smile
a reminder that there is good in this worls
so
i paint my nails yellow

in a room full of people you'll find me in the middle
it's not because i am extroverted and outgoing
because, yes i am those things
it is because i am scared
i am scared to be left alone
and so
i do what i can to surround myself with people
even if those people are toxic to me

i asked him
"what's worse a liar or a cheater"
"i didn't lie"
actually
you just did.

i bet you can't even spell my name
that is how little you know me

i'm stuck in a revolving door
and it never slows down enough
for me to get out
i'm walking
without a purpose
and i can't find anyone
to stop the door
for me.