if you ask someone who has never experienced great love before if you can die of a token heart; they will simply laugh in your face and say no. However, if you ask someone that has experienced great love, they will look you in the eyes when they remember the day the light in theirs went out. they will proceed to remember the long days and even longer nights of lying there and not knowing what was next or how to cope, they will remember being so empty that finishing a writing like this was not possible .

and if you asked one of my friends they'd say I'm fine, but if you look at me you can see in my eyes that i am far from it. eat eat you must eat the y'all say, but my stomach is filled with worries and doubts that i am full for days.

\ i don't know why my body is having difficulty adjusting to a place i love.  a place i dreamed of living and now do. and now i find myself ridden with stress that doesnt feel real. the body is a  scary place that i find hard to love. /

who am i ? why am i here? and why won't my mouth open when i need to talk about whats going on in my mind before i drown myself in my thoughts? why no why?  i guess all i have to blame is myself for shutting down and just staring at you when you spill out how much you love me and all i can say is why? i can't find myself but i don't even know what to look for anymore

overwhelmed, sleep deprived and anxious. The things we feel are things we can't put into words because we are overtaken in feeling. maybe its just me or maybe I'm just rambling, but god i feel so far from the world

love me love me.

i need you to love me.

i push and i push.

but you don't seem to pull anymore.

i dont remember why this is happening again. i feel empty yet again. lost and confused; i don't know why this is happening to me. why did you betray me why did you leave me out to dry like i was just another wet towel from your past?