The love we had
could not compare
to those we had before,

Yet there you are
in pain and tears
upon my bedroom floor,

You begged to stay
but when you left
I watched you from the door,

And though I've done
these awful things
I'll always love you more.

When I die
I’ll kiss the sky
and know at last for sure
if God is real
and if I’ll feel
a thing once through that door.

I’ll think of you
and wish to do
the things we did before
but know that I
had wished to die
and I would wish no more.

If I regret
the fate I’ve met
stone cold upon the floor
I might cry
for years gone by
but still have died a *****.

Kiss my lips
and grab my hips
and say you love me more.

Tie me down
and go to town
like I'm your little *****.

You ******* meant something to me.
We flirted and talked and held hands.
I asked you for your number in the cheesiest way.
We ******. And ******. And ******.
You saw my scars and told me about yours.
I wanted to know. I wanted to know all of it.

You whimpered and begged and said my name.
You told me what turned you on.
I tried my hardest to please you.
I WANTED YOU.
I still want you.
Because you meant something to me.

I told you I wanted you.
You said you weren't feeling it.
I tried. And tried. And tried. And cried.
Then you decided you'd rather **** someone else.
My friend.
The one people always choose over me.
I begged her not to *******.
She knew you meant something to me.
It hasn't happened as far as I know. Not yet.

Not yet.
But you haven't asked me in weeks.
You're looking for the one. I thought you were the one.
I'm just not lucky enough to be right.

You ******* meant something to me.
Still mean something to me.
But I wasn't good enough.
******* too.

Your cold-lipped kiss
is best of all,
and I still love you
through the thaw.
The fire fades
in summer's sprawl,
and I always lose you
in the fall.

I want you
like words cannot describe.
I want to feel your weight
pressing down on me.
Your gentle kisses
and soft touches,
they numb my mind.
Yet you stay illusive,
hovering on the edge of my bed.
And I lie awake,
staring at the ceiling,
the curtains,
the pillows,
wondering why you stay away
and I how might entice you
to join me at last.