You made me feel like I was the ocean but I was just a wave all along

I feel sad today
Everyday blurrs into the next
Morning comes but there's nothing there for me
Tomorrow will be the same as today
Tomorrow is today
The silence in my head fills me with angst
The baby in my stomach fills me with dread
Nothing is real
But these feelings these feelings that don't pass
I can't **** them in there sleep
There attached to me

hot tears lick my face my heart pumps acid into my veins I'm boiling over and over and over and over again about the same things
when does the healing process start?
are there some wounds that time cannot mend? are there some apologies that cannot take away the hurt? when there are things done that cannot be undone?

You said to love myself
So I left you

I thought becoming a Mother would bring me closer to my own


......it didn't

Dear God just make the thoughts stop please