Everything is moving so fast and I wish you didn't think you liked me and I wish you didn't think you loved me because I'm tired of spending my evenings speculating what made you think otherwise

Does one manufacture feelings?

Your body is a feeling's factory and I'm afraid you've fired all your underpaid workers

I'm weaving my way into your factory but it's just not working

Nonetheless, I am tired of being locked out of your office (the heart)

And I believe that organs are chambers that one chooses to close

But *******, how'd I begin to feel this way

As I lay in my bed
I think of thoughts that are best left unsaid
And I scrape and I scratch and search the cabins of my brain
And I take it with a grain
Not of salt, not of pepper
Not even bo bepper
But a grain of *******
And I snort and I covert until I feel it in my nose
And the substance makes its way to my toes
And it's fast and it's brash
And I suddenly crash

And that's only with a little hello

i said i'd speak to you on January 1 at 12:01
a new year, a new year i supposed
I thought maybe I'd be a part of your new years resolutions
But who really accomplishes those?

I thought about it every second until new years and i crafted my sentences ever so eloquently

And I knew you'd laugh at me because you never thought of me in those moments and those are parts of my life that i cannot redeem

My love, I don't know what's wrong because I'm not in love with you I just want to say hello

But it's February and I never really pressed send

But I imagine that I did

And that, has made all the difference. Goodnight.

Shall I compare thee to a forest,
Not the artificial ones in the middle of Suburbia Americana
But the real ones, the ones in Brazil, the patches untouched by humanity

Shall I compare thee to the forest?

You gave me a home when I was homeless, my love, you breathe and give me life and I am flattered by your modesty
You have always posed a danger to me, my love, my forest

But I'll take your wet, rainy days and your scorching heat,
If I can have your humid days, your star-filled nights and the days where everything smells nice

My love, I'll take your wolves and bears, if I can be given the honor of laying next to your rabbits in the spring

*

Today you are no longer a forest.

A crew came in, my love, I couldn't do anything about it, it was winter and your soft breaths were keeping me so warm, even though I wasn't cold to begin with

They cut down your trunks, my darling, they tore you apart until you could no longer breathe

They took you away from me, they tore us apart, my love what was I supposed to do?

All of your wolves and bears and rabbits are dead, buried, and gone

I hear you have a new purpose in life, my once beloved, I heard they use you to make paper, I heard you're happy

You always wanted to be famous.

I thank you for being present and I thank you for trying to make me happy

I thank you for your hypocrisy; I learned to spot it out

My love, I've only written about you when I feel sad but today will be different

For even though you left me, something of you stayed

I still have your memories

And that cannot be replaced.

So when you speak ill of me to your new circle of friends, I'll speak of you in terms of the past

For no matter how many phillipics you make of me, you still kissed me on the lips

And that cannot be changed.

You have become nothing but a set of electrical signals whirling around my brain (how fun it sounds to be so worry free)

Jumping synapse to synapse as you make your way into my head, once in a while, one in a blue moon, perhaps

You are no longer real you are no longer there and I cannot begin to fathom how this came to be

I no longer utter your name from my lips for it was too familiar to me and it sure as hell hurt to hear myself say your name

And not hear you say mine.

For I am longer a part of your senses and you are no longer a part of mine

And I only think of you when I cannot fall asleep

And this is where I tell myself to stop being a ******* liar because I dream about you all the time

I no longer need my limbs to reach out to you and quite frankly I don't want them anymore; they're always getting me into trouble

For you, the optimist, the portrayal of all that is good in mankind and the epitome of its failures have become the source of my recurring pessimisms

I do not understand why I keep pouring water into my ears in an attempt to drown you out

Only to realize, that it wasn't my ears I was drowning anymore.

I want(ed) people to stop talking to me

So that I c(ould)an think profoundly of you

I want(ed) to go home so that I c(ould)an lay in bed and think of you

I th(ought)ink about you every chance I g(ot)et, my love I d(idn't)on't want you to know this because I know that you don't

Love is(was) thinking about you even when you weren't around

My love, I analyze(ed) every moment that we've spent together from that first time you held my hand to the last I heard of your soft breaths on the phone on a Monday when you left me.

Good morning all my friends have retired

Hello I am running out of things to do to forget that they have all made better plans and that I am not to be included

Good day to you to, zzz I am falling asleep sir

I am feeling my mind deteriorate from a lack of sufficient socialization
Zzzz I am falling asleep again because I don't want to think about it
Zzzzz I keep dreaming about you dearie why'd you go again

I am running out of things to distract myself with; who cares about diction when you don't have any body to spill out beautiful words to

My love, I'm getting close to substance abuse

My love, I'm afraid of trying it I am afraid of artificially feeling like I did before

I am still confused; you are not; I am missing out on something

One who wears a seatbelt
Cannot claim to be unafraid of death

I gave her the ocean, I gave her the sea

What I thought was beauty, destroyed me

I took back the ocean, I took back the sea

But in the end, it was nothing to me

For she was my ocean, she was my sea

What I thought was beauty, became me.

Oooo baby smoke me like the pack of
cigarettes you smoked on the bathroom
floor while sitting in the dark and
contemplating life

Oooo baby kiss me like that pacifier we all
once had; cry if they remove me
Baby cry about the fact that I don’t have any
better nicknames for you and that my comparing you to an infant is so oppressive; read me books
before bed and tell me everything I believe in
is a lie

Oooo tell me to stop and listen to the sound
of you leaving me and then run back home
please [(don't) leave me]

I watch a wave from an appropriate distance

I watch it crash and hug the shore

I see my past, my present, and my future

I built myself a tower
Climbed atop, to tell the hour

Felt the ground beneath my feet

I built myself a tower; yet, I wonder why I'm higher

I built myself some bridges: Seems like little yellow kisses

I watched the sunset from my tower
I did not hold a cigarette, nor drink some coffee

I watched some people from my tower; ha, look at how they cower

I felt the wind beneath my feet: Oh this must be a repeat!

I remembered the last time I was naked
I remembered that I closed the door
Now, my towers shaking
And I cannot have that anymore

In a world without time love would flourish

There would be nothing to keep track of but
the flutter of your lover’s eyelashes as you
stare into each other

Introspection would not have limits; for time
itself limits the time we spend with
ourselves

In a world without time there would be no
waiting, no worries

You’d wake up every morning with the
thinking about where the sun is and where
the Earth has rotated to; rather than think
about what time a clock says

In a world without time, people would be
paid for their performance

Rather than be paid for hours spend
dawdling their thumbs behind an empty
counter

In a world without time, mothers would love
their children wholly without boundaries,
without time to keep them apart

In a world without time, people would stop
and say hello to you without the impression
that another wave would make them late to
their minimum wage job

In a world without time, I’d hold your hand
and not think “what if she doesn’t like me
this time?”

In a world without time, no one would yell at
you for coming home late

In a world without time, dates would go on
sunrise, sunset and no one would get up
and say “i’m sorry look at the time i really
must be going”

Why would you keep track of time, when
there are so many more beautiful things to
keep track of?

I don’t know what to buy nothing seems to
be enough for me

I think about all it took to get to that shelf in
the supermarket; all it took for them to place
that can of soda on a shelf

And then I thought to myself that the same
applies with everyone and everything

How is the twinkle in your left eyeball (the
one I’d stare at as you’d fall asleep to the
sound of my stories, the ones you didn’t
like) any different from the can of sardines at
your local supermarket

I propose that we are all products in an
increasingly capitalistic market

No one wants you in the end

You end up in someone’s cart for twenty
minutes

You take a ride; whilst suffocating in a
plastic bag

You are used and eaten and beaten

You are merely an item

And then you’re over

And then you are to be thrown away

Brought to a landfill

Buried

And finally you are to be forgotten

And the worst part is, that you thought that
you were special

I watched her sip her coffee in a precarious
manner

She never held on to the handle because the
cup was her life
She didn’t wear her clothes out but rather,
her clothes wore her out

I professed my love to her and told her about
how she removed me from this planet and
reminded me that there are far worse,
mundane things in this world and she was
all that made me happy

And she responded with “okay, but you
know I won’t be coming back because
you’ve made me fathom an existence”