when i came in she was hung from the ceiling.
her arms and legs were practically torn from her torso,
hanging on by ****** threads.
i thought there would be more blood.
i thought she would cry out in pain.
but she hung there frozen.

her eyes darted left and right in their sockets,
mouth rapidly opening and closing with raspy breaths.
her exposed lungs expand shakily.
screaming and crying.
screaming and crying.
at the touch her shredded flesh is tough from the temperature.

pulling her down is a lost cause,
my hands already frostbitten just from the first touch.
feeling like i'll never feel warm again.
but ill claw at her icy remains until i can no longer breathe.
and i'm running out of breathe.
i can't keep heavy this frozen air.

leaving a trail of broken childhood memories
and a colossal amount of trauma
its not my fault that the door is broken
or that my mirrors are broken
it's pathetic- no she's pathetic
she's constantly tripping on her power
not even able hold the weight of her own sword
and every swing she takes at me
i can see her brace for impact
but how long will it be before she breaks?
it's not my fault that her tongue is twisted
and all distorted like her mind
she always taught me that when there's too much to chew
all you can do is swallow yourself and anyone around you
she's swallowed my confidence,
she's swallowed my sanity,
and all that i am left with is the guilt of it being my own fault
she has too much power over me
and it crushes me

i spend all day just trying to take my first breath.

the candle light cooks flesh
leaving it golden
the dark tries to take away
what means the most to me
but at least we still have the stars
and the candle that cooks your flesh

lay down
back down
apologies can't save us now
i can’t go back now
i've seen too much
i've learned too much
i've loved too much

sinking into the cold deep sea
i'm met with a warm crinkle of light
the candle cooks flesh
leaving it golden
you've hitched yourself for my greatest fear
my greatest creation
and yet even as i **** you little by little
you still ask me

and after youre done
will you hate me
will you leave me
will i be left thinking
it was my fault
that you chopped yourself up
and served yourself

i'm sorry
i just want to love you
from the inside out

"completely besotted,"
that seems like a good fit.
i want to look at you,
like nobody has looked at you before.
every inch of your skin is smooth and
it's so strong.
like stone.
you're aphrodite, in flesh,
and in stone.
you're absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful.
just the sight of you makes me, pulchritudinous.
and i am devastated.
i am devastated
that i can't fall asleep with you,
wake up finding you right where i left you.

i'm made of something stronger.
i may not be a saint,
but I am mighty.

i do not fear you.

sometimes.
sometimes if i think hard enough,
i can see her.
i can see her in my room,
i can feel her lips on my neck,
and her hands on my waist.