So it’s getting to that time of year
Where I dream of you endlessly
With a gun against your head
And I can’t believe
It’s going to be 8 years that you’ve been dead

I hope you know
You turned my life upside down
How many stupid things I did
Because I had let you down

I didn’t see the signs
And I’m sorry for that
So ******* sorry that you’ll never know
I’m still waiting for your reasonings
A letter that’ll never come
But I’m still breathing to make you proud
Have I done that?
A college graduate at 22,
Have I done that?
Beating an eating disorder and this **** depression too.

Ill never know.
The only thing I’m sure of is that I watch out for the signs now.
Because suicide ended your pain
And started mine.

Let's talk about our fears
I fear I've stolen your life
You fear, you can't fix the broken
But I'm not broken
I never have been
I'm just not what you thought you'd settle for
Because you know ill never be
That trophy wife you wanted in the house with the white picket fence with your two and a half kids
Does it hurt to know that I'll never be what you wanted?
Because it's killing me

My fears manifest themselves in questions
Questions I ask
Questions I think
Questions ill never find
But your answer is always the same
How everything's fine
Everything's okay
But if that's so true why do I feel this way?

I know you want someone more like her
And I'll never be that
It's not me
I guess we should both face our fears
Cause we may not be broken yet
But, my dear, we're heading there.