Tendrils of regret snake up from the shadows,
I thought I had gotten away this time,
though it would appear I was mistaken;
As I usually am.
Ghosts of memories slip through my eyes,
blinding me to the present reality,
water of salt drips from my empty sockets,
as I fall into the nightmares of times long past.

The haze of dolor clouds my mind,
luring me back into feelings I thought were gone,
but of course, I was ever-so wrong;
As I usually am.
Demons smirk and scratch across my brain,
reminding me of their control,
for I was given an inch but took a mile,
unacceptable, I should have known.

Mania dances wildly across my sanity,
reminding me of what I never had,
though I thought I had regained it, I was incorrect;
As I usually am.
Friend-masked foes sing songs of betrayal,
piercing my ears so I can no longer hear the truth,
if I ever really heard it in the first place;
It is now that I'm senseless.

I can still feel the whispers of past bruises on my skin,
still hear your horrid screaming in my ear ringing,
still flinch whenever people come too near,
whether they be friends or family;
All because of one's silly games.

I still get paranoid as I speak my thoughts,
still get anxious when confessing feelings,
still refuse to put both feet in trust,
to anyone, even myself;
All because of one's silly lies.

I still bend to the painful expressions of others,
still throw myself to the sharks for the better,
still use myself as a shield for the undeserving,
for they're more deserving than I;
All because of one's silly traps.

Mistakes made thrice,
a curse from life,
giving me Lemon after sour lemon.
Perhaps a Clementine should come around,
tiny blessing as they are,
and give me a taste of sweetness for once.

Well, you’ve got yourself a problem,
Don’t you?
When the days rush by and;
You cannot tell where you are,
Who you are,
Or even when you are.
When you move like a zombie,
No thoughts, no feelings,
Ah, you can’t feel at all.
I see, I see,
Let’s throw you on pretty pills,
Answer nice questions,
Play comforting music,
That will help, right?
Oh, you can’t feel that either?
I wonder why.
Here, peel this potato,
With another potato!
That’ll solve the problem.
It won’t?
Oh well.

Lifelessly, I drop to the ground,
but fall straight through, already a phantom.
Seeping through the dirt, weeping while going down,
eventually I hit rock bottom.

Where are you?
I reach my hands up,
claw at the rock above until bloodied.

Did you leave me?
Fists slam against the boards,
punching until bruised and knuckles broken.

Is it me?
Hopeless cries to the upside,
screaming until raspy and sore.

Lifelessly, I drop to the ground,
and shatter against the earth.
Nobody can hear my pleas,
and Nobody cares.
Where are you, Nobody?
A whimper in the night echos.

Have you ever slept with anyone,
nothing funny,
just rest and comfort?

You will notice it is much,
much different,
and you’ll miss it,

When the heat turns down,
you’re alone in the cold,
you’ll miss it,

When the thunder rumbles,
and lightning flashes,
you’ll miss it,

When the tears keep falling,
and you lose yourself,
you’ll miss it most of all.

It was there that I waited, in the middle of the barren landscape.
Cold winds whipped my hair and nearly pushed me back.
I continued to wait.
Slowly, I became numb, and blind as the sun pierced my eyes.
I could feel the chill rising through me.
I continued to wait.
Lost voices screamed in the winds, deafening me.
My joints stiffened, as if losing youth to the old winter.
I stopped waiting.
Step by step, I moved through the cold.
People passed by and allowed me to continue.
I continued on.
Striving to reach somewhere, anywhere, my salvation.
The weight on my back hindered me, but I couldn’t remove it.
I pressed on.
A glimpse of a house on the horizon, with doors unlocked.
I fall before I can reach it.
I cannot go on.

Sometimes, it’s as if I’m flying sky high,
and nothing can bother me.
It’s as if I’ve finally reached the stars,
and nothing can touch me.
It’s like getting a grasp on everything,
and nothing can defeat me.
Then wings get ripped, each feather plucked out,
slowly and ever-so painfully;
I fall, trying so hard to flap useless arms to get back up,
but it’s no use,
The end is inevitable,
this plane’s going down.