“but the thing is,” you were saying then, and i had it all stamped in my brain, in a little file that from time to time, would jump before me; replaying all the events i had tried to erase, again and again and again.
“i feel nothing.” your voice, like i remembered, was so worn out, so -- so void of emotion that for a second i thought that this was our goodbye although knowing you, you’d have never speared me that goodbye, no. for you were selfish, really; you hid the truth between the lines and you knew so very well that i did not like it, when you were saying something but hinting at something else.
and perhaps, if i had to be really honest with you, your flaw got you trashed and stomped on. you always traveled the whole universe in a couple of moments just to get something out.
and i ought have known that that day, was our goodbye -- you were not just gazing into space and stuffing me with your obstacles or your can of worms like you always did when your heart was brimmed to the top and you worried that you’d throw it up, no. you were telling me that you had stopped loving me and how you just woke up one day and said that to me was beyond me, still is.
i mused over it a lot, and i still do, when in the middle of the night, my thoughts are in every corner of what used to be our home but **** you, for i can still not feel the home i felt when you were embracing me in your tight secured arms and **** you. could you just not have done it that way? because even though you loved and you lived for the suspense, you became one hell of a mystery too, darling, and i do not like it one bit. was it so hard for you, to look me in the eyes and just tell me -- be straightforward about it, like a sharp knife piercing through my heart, darling i have stopped loving you.

i am mine, before i am yours

your lips were soft and plump and meeting mine,
i felt us rowing in the sea of silver dusted constellations
with the midnight sky gracing our eyes and with the
glooming of the moon and we would row, my love,
amidst stardust with moonbeam in our eyes
and then we would move into each other and you would
whisper sweet nothings that would linger in my ears for all i could
remember and tasting you, with sweet layers of salt my love,
i was so in love and and we would row and row,
and then you would grasp my cheek and as if writing on my skin
with ink, you caressed every inch of me till i was experiencing my own special euphoria
of nothing but you, you, you and then me and you would
angel my head to the side and battle with my tongue
and then we were flowing and crashing and turning
and meeting your lips again and again was like a sort of new
oxygen that made the one i had been inhaling seem toxic and suddenly,
my love, nothing but your breath could open up my
midnight lungs and i loved it, loved you, your lips, your fingers, your hair,
your tongue against mine, your breath fanning my face, your eyes lightening me up,
and this is me, and that is you, and this is the chaos of kisses that you erupt
deep from within me and my love your kisses are like the oxygen i need in order to breathe and
yet, you would stop, why did you my love?
can you not see the chaos you've created, can you not see how i am crumpling only to wither away like ashes --
why did you stop, as if we were never ever anything to begin with?

“but it is your imperfections,” he said, his voice soothing rivers and his eyes like a candle lit in dark; but he would not leave ―― for his eyes were like an endless labyrinth and he would never die out. and one would get lost again and again in his eyes for they had this depth that one could not help but get curious about. and once one were to be too far in; there was no way out, not from left nor right but forced to continue stalking down the road of his chocolate eyes. they were like poison, she thought, a beautiful poison, that is. perhaps it was a poison of happiness, she had yet to be sure, but there was a flaw in it all ―― one she was really sure about.
too much happiness could intoxicate, and his eyes, they intoxicated her; left her heart skyrocketing and perhaps that was why she had tried to pull away but stopped altogether for he would not let her go. no ―― he would shower her with words of love and she kept coming back for more and more for she strangely liked it, loved it even.  
“ ―― that i cherish; you set this hurricane inside of me and you would not leave, but you know what?” he was smiling now, his lips curving upward, gracing her eyes and everything around him for there were suddenly blinding lights everywhere. and his eyes ―― they were not candles anymore, no, they wer crystals; gleaming and glowing and sparkling.
“ ―― i don’t mind, in fact i don’t mind at all ―― for i love it and i don’t mind having every tiny piece of you gracing my veins because my love, this ――” his delicate fingers were moving on their own accord and pointing between the two of them, “whatever this is, i’ll make sure that it never burns out, but in the meantime, my love, i’ll love your imperfections and i won’t mind reminding you everyday that you’re important, but most importantly ―― you’re beautiful.” and he wished, wished so badly that he could stuff the empty girl with all the word’s light and make her see, just like he did, how utterly and breathtakingly beautiful she was. no matter her imperfections ―― they just added to her blinding beauty.

but how can you look at me like that,
make me feel as if i was the center of your universe,
whisper me beauteous words that would make my
heart flutter in my chest, your words like the cure
to my insecurities

how could you look at me like that,
with your opals sparkling, shimmering and crashing,
the specks of golden colours in your eyes vivid,
exposing me-- trapping me --

how could you look at me like that,
your eyes piercing mine, telling me
it was me then, it is me now, it is me,
for the end of eternity?

look at me, look at me
and tell me you love me,
kiss me weak to my knees
and i won’t ask for more

just tell me again, my heart
you’re all i want, how could
you take it with you?