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j a s Mar 2016
he was the hills and she was its grounds; deep shaking her countless of times but even then, because a hill without its rocks cannot stand by itself, she stayed; allowing her to upset her, angry her, tug at her and just — be there for him, although he had been pretty bad at times, turning her frigid and rough and everything in between
j a s Mar 2016
I have been sitting here for a long time now... things are messy at times, while others are so downright painful that I find my tears racing down my cheeks and the worst part is that I'm starting to not feel anything, love, I'm so shallow that you could put all of the universe within me and yet I'd tell you that I don't feel anything at all

So I'm asking you, what have you done to me? And the point? Were we supposed to end up like this, love? You walk past me without so much as a second glance and I'm just standing there, dumbfounded, wondering where the day that you'll look me in the eye is, and tell me that you were sorry and maybe I'd walk away, if I had the time to move on, or maybe I'd just throw my hands around your neck and tell you, yell at you, cry at you, why did it take you so long?

And then, without so much as an answer, I'd crush my lips against yours and we would be alright — I would  be alright
**** you though, because I don't have the heart to see you like that, so I'd just take you back again and again because I'm that foolish
j a s Jan 2016
but how can you look at me like that,
make me feel as if i was the center of your universe,
whisper me beauteous words that would make my
heart flutter in my chest, your words like the cure
to my insecurities

how could you look at me like that,
with your opals sparkling, shimmering and crashing,
the specks of golden colours in your eyes vivid,
exposing me-- trapping me --

how could you look at me like that,
your eyes piercing mine, telling me
it was me then, it is me now, it is me,
for the end of eternity?

look at me, look at me
and tell me you love me,
kiss me weak to my knees
and i won’t ask for more

just tell me again, my heart
you’re all i want, how could
you take it with you?
find me love, take me with you and never let go of me
j a s Jan 2016
i was like his spanish homework,
something he pushed to the back
of his mind again and again for
it was so tiring, exhausting and
looking at it, his eyes would waver
as fast as they landed on it.
he was like the ink to my pages,
something i could not go without
throughout the day and something
i needed when my mind was as blank
as the white ceiling i bore my orbs into
night after night, for i could but not sleep

i was like the abstract equation that
he tried to oh-so-much solve, but failed
for it was wracking his brain and even then,
he could not solve it and if he did
(which was likely to never happen)
he would still not understand and stuck
he would be, time after time till he
simply gave up.
he was like the figures to my equations,
something i needed in order to understand
and because it was the bottom and whole
of it all, and without those figures i would
not understand -- i needed them to begin,
so how could i end, without a beginning?

i was like the formulas he needed to follow,
in order to get the blue liquid in lab, and
then he needed to remember everything he combined
to convert it all into one new form but the thing
was, that he could hardly remember and so
everytime he tried, it exploded over and over again
till he was told to sit down and
observe instead, for he was not ready yet.
he was like the words i used to write
my chemistry report, something i needed
again and again, for it was mandatory,
the line to my start and
the punctuation to my end

and i was and he was, and to him i
was of no meaning and to me he was
every meaning -- every sentence of me
so why was it that i was nothing and
he was everything, not leaving my mind once
while i barely crossed his mind?
not even during my homework would he stop plaguing  my mind
j a s Jan 2016
i am mine, before i am yours
and please remember that you were beautiful, even before he told you so
j a s Jan 2016
your lips were soft and plump and meeting mine,
i felt us rowing in the sea of silver dusted constellations
with the midnight sky gracing our eyes and with the
glooming of the moon and we would row, my love,
amidst stardust with moonbeam in our eyes
and then we would move into each other and you would
whisper sweet nothings that would linger in my ears for all i could
remember and tasting you, with sweet layers of salt my love,
i was so in love and and we would row and row,
and then you would grasp my cheek and as if writing on my skin
with ink, you caressed every inch of me till i was experiencing my own special euphoria
of nothing but you, you, you and then me and you would
angel my head to the side and battle with my tongue
and then we were flowing and crashing and turning
and meeting your lips again and again was like a sort of new
oxygen that made the one i had been inhaling seem toxic and suddenly,
my love, nothing but your breath could open up my
midnight lungs and i loved it, loved you, your lips, your fingers, your hair,
your tongue against mine, your breath fanning my face, your eyes lightening me up,
and this is me, and that is you, and this is the chaos of kisses that you erupt
deep from within me and my love your kisses are like the oxygen i need in order to breathe and
yet, you would stop, why did you my love?
can you not see the chaos you've created, can you not see how i am crumpling only to wither away like ashes --
why did you stop, as if we were never ever anything to begin with?
why would you stop?
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