when i was little
my christian parents
would tell me not to be scared of the thunder
because it was only god moving furniture around
making room for me in heaven

they told me
that the lightning was only angels
accidentally dropping pieces of gold to earth
sometimes i would sit outside with an umbrella
hoping a piece of gold would fall on our driveway

but angels don't exist
and neither does god
and the thunder is only echoes of the lightning
and the lightning is only columns of electrons
at approximately fifty thousand degrees fahrenheit
vibrating the surrounding air like a tubular drum
causing the sound of thunder

i won't ever forget their reactions
when i told them i didn't believe anymore
my grandmother gave me a bible the following christmas
but i sold it to a used book store the next week
and i used the money to buy a pack of cigarettes

i remember that day well
because there was a thunderstorm
but it was probably just god
moving my furniture back to how it was
because he knows i won't be getting into heaven
anytime soon

I am not the kind of boy who fits the mould of it's social stereotype:
Does sport
perving on girls
has the tendency to treat girls like a piece of meat

No, that isn't me.
I never liked sport.
I was a boy who didn't like to watch or play with Action man or Power Rangers,
Instead I was the kind of boy who would tell his friends that he was going to football club,
When in fact I was going to dance club.
At school I studied dance.
"What lesson do you have next, Lew?"
"History"
Dance.

As the school year rolled on it was revealed,
When I had to perform in front of the whole school,
Nerves
Butterflies
Terror

After that I rolled with the punches:
Gay
Queer
******

It angered me that because I didn't stick with the 'traditional' ideology of a boy I was an outcast,
labelled with a stereotype that also didn't fit me.

I like Lady Gaga
In fact, I adore her.
Because I support the LGBT community I am misunderstood as a person.

To this day I struggle to overcome constant attack of prejudice and disrespect that people show me,
I struggle to hold on to that last thread of self confidence.
I don't dance any more. I am too scared to try it again
I don't tell people that I listen to Gaga and Lana Del Rey. They'll laugh at me
Whenever I say I like a girl people think it's a lie

**All of this because I am a different kind of boy.

Once upon a time
is as far as I got
in writing my fairy tale
before I lost the plot
my princess was beautiful
her story was not
where she thought she'd found princes
she'd only found frogs

along came a stranger
from out of the blue
with the sky in his eyes
from looking for you
searched all his life
for too good to be true
along treacherous paths
barely bearing his wounds

his pain was forgotten
in a blink of your eye
at a hint of your smile
at the thought of you mine
all the things that you've taught me
when the pain subsides
when they have a chance to combine
will allow me to smile

again

I hope that you know that you are magical
and I will always be under your spell

The End

Awake! arise! the hour is late!
Angels are knocking at thy door!
They are in haste and cannot wait,
And once departed come no more.

Awake! arise! the athlete’s arm
Loses its strength by too much rest;
The fallow land, the untilled farm
Produces only weeds at best.

I realized it while I was high
and my mind was wandering around.
It completely blew my mind,
how I always want you in my life.

I am crazy in love with you
because I realized how much you love me
because you accept me the way I am
with my craziness and peculiarities
with my impulses and eccentricities.

I realized how I had never been in love
because nothing felt the way
it now feels with you.
How I yearn your touch
and long your kiss.

Because I find so hard to say
the way I love you.
How I can't write
how you make me feel
(all) the love I feel within.

I realized how much I love you
wishing you would feel the same
finding that you feel the same
deeply in love, quenched by love.

The music that’s been formed by his voice
Is lifting my body to the sky
Merging with the carnation pink clouds.
As my body sways within the northern lights
Dusts from the fairies of the north
Brightly gleam my face.
Stars are seducing us
And formed a line
Of a sensational beauty.
Light danced on the waves
Of the arctic oceans as they did
In his eyes.
His hands moved with feelings,
In emotion.
We floated among the words
That bounced between us.
Two drops of Jupiter
Looked at me in a way so heavenly
Oh darling ,let me float with you.

I told you I don’t write poems for people
But that was a lie
The truth is
I couldn’t find the right words
To tell you everything I don’t understand
About the way you make me feel
All the right words
They swim through my mind
But when I try to tell you how i feel
I start sinking in sentences
Anchored to the floor
I’m unable to pull myself together
And easy-handed give you the thoughts
That are tethered to my heart