Falling out of line
I’m losing my focus, I used to be good
Now I’m not even a fraction of what I used to be
Something is badly wrong with me
It needs to come out, but it’s sealed and buried within

Losing my touch
I can’t feel, all the good is gone
I’m a mess, without the ability to know what’s wrong
I can’t define it, I don’t know
All I want to do is break down
All I want to do is hurt myself

Things are bad now, I feel numb
When things were worse, I was better
I knew that which was hurting me
I want to go back to then; I knew who I was
I feel nothing; I want to make me worse
Hurt me more, make me know what I feel
I want to bleed

I can feel it building up inside me
It’s an animal fighting its way out
Trapped inside the cage of my chest
Ripping at my insides, clawing at my intestines
Biting me, I feel the force of it; he sends tremors through my body

The tears will start bleeding down my face, it’s hurting me
The first evidence of internal turmoil
I will break down, fall to my knees, and cover my face
There’s a hole in my chest
I’m bleeding out

A gut-wrenching scream will spill out of me
I’m falling apart at the seams, they all know it now
I cannot hide, bones are breaking; he’s tearing me to smithereens
From the inside out
Who is the monster which sleeps within me
I try to speak, but words won’t be spoken
They are blind, I don’t matter
I wish I knew
How to die, or better yet;
*******

Black and crimson
Leather and lace
Broken mirrors and slit wrists
There is nothing to hide behind
She’s poisoned;
From the inside out

Black and crimson
Whips and chains
There is nothing there to shield her
She’s beaten;
By her own fists

Black and crimson
Pain and suffering
Problems do have solutions
Black, for the bruises covering her mangled body
Crimson, for the blood
Spilling out of her head

Laying down in my place of rest
I’m bleeding, by my own hand
The moon; she bathes me in her light
As if to heal the scars
Inflicted

I’m falling into a slumber
My strength fading, by my own will
The sea; it embraces me in its safe haven
Lulling me to sleep, even deeper
As if to soothe the mistakes
Committed

I’m losing sight
My abused body is closing down, this is my sin
The fire; ferociously thriving for me
Stealing my last oxygen
As if to keep me warm and shed some light
Through my cold and black journey
Into death

The darkness it follows me
Hiding in the shadows
And every time I think I can see it clearly
It changes form; morphs into something else
Whispering in my ear, creating torment
Placing images in my mind
******* with my head

Darkness is intricate
It’s laced up in everything around me
My head is spinning, I cannot see with clarity
I feel myself going insane
Repeating the same behavior over and over
I’m well and truly damaged

There is no light here, only darkness
I am filled with voices;
Singing me to sleep
I’m so deep in despair I can’t cry for my pain
Darkness is within my body, as is a small shard of light
******* with my head
But I’m just so blind
I cannot hope to be repaired

I try so hard to find the light
But there's a blackout in my mind
Every day starts and ends the same
I'm getting sick of the repetition

The shards of glass stuck in my heart
Are aching, with every beat it gets worse
I try to rip them out and they dig in deeper
I'm getting sick of this fruitless life
It's made up solely of suffering

I'm pinned down, the hooks embedded in my skin
Keeping me down on the ground
I'm being stepped on, like putrid meat
All of my strength is gone
It was wasted in my feeble attempts to rise again
Blood, brusises and eyes clouded with tears
This is my place in the world
Down on the ground;
Drowning in my pain

I'm in a dangerous state of mind
Still feeling the cluster of pain inside me
I continue to feel the empty
Stripped down to my bare essentials;
I can't tell you what I have left

It's still hard to breathe
The weight on my lungs forever lingering
And I can't help but to revert back to my old ways
The bloodthirst is making its precense known
Yet again

Why do the good memories fade
While the bad ones become more profound
Overwhelming me with such intense hurt,
riddled with anxiety
I can't cope
It seeps its way through, right down to the bone
It has entirely consumed me
Why won't it let go,
Of its chokehold around my neck
This pain
Is asphyxiating
Me