This is for you
Infatuation
It’s all for you
The first time I laid eyes on you
I was yours

You fascinated me, and I wanted you badly
Your body just made me crave you in ten different ways
My feelings I couldn’t understand
You confused me
But I couldn’t keep away

Your touch was like ecstasy
And you made my mind go fuzzy
My heart skipped a beat and my breath hitched in my throat
Every single time you looked at me
With gorgeous emerald eyes

The way you seemed so unattainable made me
Want you even more
And I loved how you didn’t give a ****
About anything
And the way you inhaled/exhaled cigarette smoke
When you were frustrated, turned me on

Nothing else mattered
But you and I, and they were oh-so-jealous
There was love, and deep, profound connection
And you are all I ever wanted
You make me complete

I could use some help here
Left to my own devices
You know it’s hard to breathe by myself
The pressure weighing down on my chest
This cruel ******* world
Suffocating me

Have faith they say
Life will reward you some sweet, bright day
What will it be of me
When God just seems to hate the very core of my being
Maybe it’s because I’m not a believer
But all I can see is ******* misery
Why is it that some
Seem to just bathe in his light
Every step of the way

I feel sick
So afraid and
The aching pain just doesn’t go away
As every day passes I lose hope
Of ever becoming anything
Worthwhile in this world
Why would you do this God?
Strip me of all happiness and dig out my intestines
You left me alone with a never ending suffering
In a shell, my soul floated away
Why would you leave me here, when I’m better off
Dead

I just want to be beautiful
Slipping back into depression
I want to see myself in the mirror
Loving the reflection
I feel the pain again
Self loathing isn’t pretty
Criticism
Don’t you think I know all my faults and inadequacies?
I see them and live with them everyday
Disapproving voices in my head
All the others are perfection visually
At least in my eyes
That same question repeated over and over in my mind
Why me?
Trapped in a vicious place where I hate myself
I don’t know how to break the habit
I just want to be beautiful
Slipping back into depression
I want to see myself in the mirror
Loving the reflection
I feel the pain again
Self loathing isn’t pretty

It’s so beautiful
You’re so honest
Up front and straight to the point
A slight shade of shame colours your face
But it’s uncalled for, we’ll love you anyhow
Infatuation, you’re so handsome
Mysterious and shy yet completely open
You scrape your sole out
Leaving the contents for the world to see
We scared you away
Retreating further into your halo
He’s broken and fixed at the same time
A deeper understanding, the remains of a dark past
You helped me in every way possible
Brought me comfort in my darkest hour
He’s always there for me
You shut me out and left me confused
But I know now, you had to go
It’s in your nature, you’ll return one day
We’ll love you anyhow
Infatuation, you’re so handsome
I forgot to tell you
How much I love you

Arms held up high
I’m handcuffed, chains attached to the ceiling
Whiplash
You’re such a tease
Moaning, embracing the pain
You know exactly which buttons to push
Blindfolded
There’s nowhere to hide
You have me trapped
I trust you
Cutting and carving, whispering seductively in my ear
Gasping,
Begging for more
Please, please, please
Blood running down my naked torso
Touching me lightly as a feather, I push body against yours
Longing for closeness I’m not receiving
Whiplash
I am to be punished for my mistakes
Release me

A bright blue sky
You’re standing next to me
Holding my hand

Your soft brown hair perfectly framing you face
You have a smile like none other
Experiences of the past I wish I were able to erase
You are my lover
Eyes shining bright, you fill me with joy

Fresh summer breeze
With you I can’t pretend
You make me feel at ease
My shattered heart you have come to mend
My fears slowly fading into the background

You are
Everything I could possibly ask for
I used to be so far away
And should this come to an end
Your sweet kiss
Is something I will most definitely miss

Liar
I remember that day as if it were yesterday
Pretending I was broken
When in fact I was doing okay
Writing childish wishes on blank ****** paper
Tempting fate
Something I would come to regret later

Months flew by fast
Before I knew it my wish had slowly became true
It progressed and got worse; the dark hole I was digging grew
I realized then this was not what I wanted
How long is it going to last?

Taking this pent up feeling out on my self
It was going to take it all away
Memories becoming foggy
There goes my old self left to decay
Mistakes imprinted on my body

Don’t tell me that you care
You know as well as I it’s my own fault that I’m here
A dream turned into a nightmare
I’m living a lie
Erase the fear
Please just let this broken soul die