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Hayley Coleman May 2014
I am sick of myself and all of my problems.
I am sick of my lack of ambition.
I am sick of my overwhelming need to do the wrong thing,
And the lack of the need to do what's right.
I am sick of sitting here and writing these stories,
About a life that has grown so boring.
I am sick of the weather and how it changes.
And I am sick of my desperation;
However,
I enjoy the smell of spring and the smile on certain people's faces,
And I guess that's enough for me.
Hayley Coleman Apr 2014
Humans are strong
But the bonds that bind us together are weak;
Deceiving,
Like aluminum,
Appearing to be strong
But easily breakable if force is applied.

I sit and wonder
Why these bonds slowly deteriorate
And why memories
Are hazy and confusing;
As if these moments never happened.

Why is it that losing something
Is the main cause of sadness?
Why is that the world keeps moving
When I am stopped in motion,
Wondering why people keep passing by
Without bothering to see if I'm alright
Or to ask how my day is going

I treat it like weather:
There is nothing I can do to stop the rain from coming,
And I can avoid it as much as I want to,
But if I ever want to go places,
I must endure the conditions and
Fight through,
And hope the sun will come out eventually.
Hayley Coleman Apr 2014
You can drive right into town,
Or swim into the city;
Jump right on my back,
And admire all the buildings.
You can appreciate life with just the touch of your finger
Only to find that your true home
Is buried six feet under.
Hayley Coleman Apr 2014
And the memories continue to fade,
As I look through your pictures and wonder what I was doing to myself last year at this time.
I don't think I was in a good place.
Because heartbreak defines you, in someway, shape, or form.
And I didn't take it too well, I think.

But looking back, I do not feel sadness, as I should.
I don't feel anything at all.

And I would be lying if I said I don't think about you from time to time
And the days that your heart was mostly devoted to mine.
But the steps that we took so far and far away,
Off to some unknown world where we no longer communicate.

And I wonder what you're thinking, and at times if it's about me.
And I wonder if I was everything I was supposed to be.
Not that it matters, because it doesn't.
For my heart belongs to him, now,
And I feel forever blissful because of that.

So if our lives were just fables scrawled down onto a notebook,
With ink blots and splotches and imperfections that life itself contains,
Would my name come across in some chapter or some place?
Or am I a memory that just continues to fade?
Hayley Coleman Apr 2014
Don't be concerned with creating a legacy.
Don't be sad when your name is forgotten, just as peace and the motivation to do great has long past in the world.
Along with the striving taste to go against society, and be your own.
For nothing is no longer present in this world.
Nothing is permanent,
Nothing matters.
So if you live your life only trying to get your name in a history book,
good for you.
But it is not about your name, or your legacy on the world that matters.
For it is the impact on yourself that makes the difference.
Because you could strive to accomplish a task that changes the universe,
But inside you are crippled with misery.
However, you may choose to live that way,
And believe that somehow living a miserable life but leaving a mark is what the purpose of your being was.
But for me,
I would rather be happy, and allow everyone around to me to know that I was happy with myself when I perished.
And that, I feel,
Would make all the difference.
Hayley Coleman Apr 2014
What it's like
To be every type of person,
In every single town,
In every single county,
In every single state,
In every single region,
In every single country,
On every single continent,
On every single planet,
In every single solar system,
In every single galaxy,
In every single universe.
I want to know what it's like to be you.
Hayley Coleman Apr 2014
People are changing,
And aging.
The weather is, too.
So is the sky, and the earth, and the science that revolves around us
Spitting theories and numbers and equations and pictures at us to remind us how small we are.
The forests keep diminishing and the skies keep polluting and the ocean continues to grow
As the ice keeps melting and the animals keep perishing as our minds continue to grow.
And I look around at this small town and think about its origins and the moments it has seen,
And I wonder why it is some things stay the same.

Every step you take someone else has taken at one point in time or another.
And if it's the first, someone else will step in your footsteps and not give a **** about who has stepped there before.

Someone told me once that you die twice:
Once when your heart stops beating,
And again when your name is said for the last time.

So here I am, standing before the world on a stage for everyone to see;
Pouring my heart out to a group of people who I may never meet.
If every word and every thought I produce means something to you,
Just remember,
It means something completely different to me.
Just a piece of my philosophical thoughts
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