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Oct 2013 · 764
Explode
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
If you only ever get a glance at one shot at fiery heaven laughter
don't just sit there on your *** thinking now isn't the right time
time is relative so all you have is now
right now
so crack a naysayer in their pearly yellows
because walking around zombified through fields of green and seas of brown
is only one razor blade away from suicide
and I don't want to be insensitive
(yes I do)
but if you walk along the easy road you'll find only cowards
get the hell up
put some ******* pace in your step
drink a gallon of gasoline,
eat a match,
and explode
it's the only way they'll ever see you
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
The road I take to get to your house -
the long way because last time I rushed I woke up in my upside down car -
winds in tight turns
banks left sharply
only to snake back right
barely wide enough for two vehicles
up the hill and under the railroad bridge
right by that patch of grass
the precipice of a cliff
your legs hanging over the edge
me sitting Indian style a few feet back
wishing you wouldn't sit there like that
a year ago on that frigid December night
before I picked up a couple more drunken scars
"I'm cold. Come here."
and certain fall to my death or no,
I've never been good at saying no to you
so I moved closer
hearing the screams of men who lost their footing
and I let you bundle up against my gigantic hoodie
one strong gust of wind
one false move
and that would be it
but I didn't think about getting up
and that says the most
Oct 2013 · 628
doodles and grey hair
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
At the desk of my childhood bedroom
the chair with no stuffing
the window open where I stole smoke breaks
the wood stained ink and graphite
a pen: black
a journal: leather bound and lined
I used to doodle in classrooms rather than take notes
and that's what these poems are
silly squiggles from a mind too preoccupied to listen
and I'd like to hold onto this habit until I'm old and grey
and I hope
that I am still not listening
Oct 2013 · 1.5k
Microphones and Pissed Pants
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
I've always admired the people
who can stand behind a microphone
and reach an audience of people
these rock stars
these ego killers
preachers
teachers
they don't beat around the burning bush
and stroll down the mountain with their own ten commandments
while we waste so much life
trying to build the perfect identity
fake it till you make it
but these people -
they wear themselves like a name tag
they don't wake up hungover
in a pair of **** stained jeans
Oct 2013 · 479
until the next time
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
she could walk and talk and toe down the line
between thrift shop flannels and expensive black dresses
wrapped up in the layers and folds of your duvet which was so thick I sweat all night long
I woke up ti the light forcing it's way white through your plastic blinds
I woke up in my boxers and skin
next to you in your underwear and skin much preferable to mine
the recipe went my arm your body my other arm
and whether or not we did what everybody's thinking we did that night doesn't matter
nor does words we may or may not have said
but it matters that I was smiling when I woke up
to see you still there
my arm riddled with pins and needles
smiling
and the weekend before
we went to the haunted house
your hand clutching mine tightly
I wasn't scared
but I clutched at that life raft as hard as I could
as I lead you through dark tunnels and corn fields
it was good to see you
it will be better to see you again
Oct 2013 · 668
my meaning of life
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
everybody watch the **** out
there's a nineteen year old trying to get profound over here
it all started when I was kid
thinking
why am I not one of those poor bloated African kids on the TV?
why am I an English school boy sitting to close to a TV?
meaning
meaning
meaning
meaning that there has to be some reason for all of this
but I got older
dumber
jaded and bitter
and I think I've figured it all out
no really just hear me out
the meaning of all of this
from womb to tomb
is that there isn't one
deep,
right?
but life is like a cartoon fight
a cloud of dust projecting fist
boot
asterisks
wavy lines
and we're all in that melee
and we're all going to get our teeth kicked in
life's one tough sonofabitch
and it's been doing since before there was a before
my point being
you can't beat life
and you can't avoid it forever
all you can do is hope
that when that ball of cartoon extravagance has settled
you'll be clutching onto the things you need
the things you want
the things you love
and you'll still be able to stand back up
Oct 2013 · 583
You're Going to London
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
it's all alright
quit worrying so much
for just one second
you did everything they asked on the app
wrote your essay
brought it to the lady at the front desk who irked you so when she asked,
"You've never been abroad?"
you'll get in
walk through the door onto that plane
maybe a 767
maybe some other form of human packaging
mixing elbows and hips with everyone else bound for the country I once called home
it'll be about seven hours of careening through the air
seven hours an angel
Heathrow is crowded and a wave of people threatens to take you in their riptide
but you'll be better than fine
in the middle of all of those great buildings
I mean,
****,
it's London:
one of the greatest cities in the world
and if anybody should be there
it's you
and you might get lost over there
in all of the faces of strangers and opportunity
and that makes me happy
it really does
but at the same time
I'll be here in Richmond
good old Richmond
our Richmond
doing my best to be supportive
doing my best to walk the straight edge
between waiting and living
doing my best to get your face out from behind closed eyes
You're going to London
and I'm going crazy
Oct 2013 · 580
fame for pain
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
on the hook
dropped the book
a series of blank slates
with the memories of tomorrow's yesterday erased
running in place
always away from the sins of self
dusty bottles sit on the shelf
lungs too tired to ask for help
waiting
stating
obvious choices
made out in torn voices
circle the drain
until you can make your pain
the name of the game
Oct 2013 · 609
Jack, James, and Mary
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
I met Jack and James in the 9th grade
a Tennessee farm boy and an Irish *******
they were wild
they didn't listen to parents
or teachers
or me
they knew how to destroy and dismantle
and from the rubble they made their nests
they showed me good times
backed me up in bad
even introduced me to girls
like Mary,
in her sweatpants and poncho
no make up
talking about the universe
we first kissed the summer before 10th grade
everything was so ******* rosy
Me, Jack, James, and Mary versus the world
we were going to do big things
and ***** anybody who said no
we weren't the type to take any ****
but years went by
them sleeping on my floor
my couch
my bed
using my bathroom
my money
Jack and James started the fights
I got the bruises
While Mary sits on the couch
eating potato chips
and talking about her next great idea to change the world
I got the bills
I told them,
enough is enough
but that is never the case
now I sleep in a grave
they were kind enough to dig
with friends like these,
who has time for enemies?
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
She said she wanted an adventure
trekking through the Mexican desert with six shooters
the Lone Ranger and her Kemo Sabe
she wanted to pack her bags
hit the road without a second glance to spare
take the Greyhound bus
or maybe her dad's Jetta
and open it up across endless highways
until the tires are stripped bare
and the exhaust smokes
she wanted to be a stranger
in a strange town
with a cardboard sign reading
    Anywhere but here
mostly she just wanted to escape
the chill of all the old ghosts which haunted her
Oct 2013 · 570
Nice to Meet You
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
You were standing there
so suddenly in front of me
in the dark, sweaty basement
where strobe lights broke through the fog like lightning
and digitally enhanced thunderclaps shook the support pillars
It was a surprise
you were alone
as was I
and in the midst of people seeking shelter in each other's bodies
it was only natural
I was the match
you the gasoline
lost track of time
then again, I was drunk
but I think you were too
But then we were outside in the cold
your arms wrapped around your frame
my arm draped easily over your shoulder
walking back to wherever it was we were going
we shed our jackets and made pillows
on our backs
shoulder to shoulder
I turned my head to the left and said,
"Nice to meet you"
Oct 2013 · 526
If Time is Money...
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
the pile of books on my windowsill sits gathering dust
the pencils are swords instead of daggers
all the pen nibs are dry
the embers slowly starving
the smiles succumbing to gravity
and the grit's nothing but dust
if time is money
then we're in debt
Oct 2013 · 555
The Wind Still Blows
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
The wind blows through the trees
knocking blood, gold, and rust
to the concrete pavement
forest floors beneath a blanket of pine needles
to the side of highways across the country
no matter what
the wind still blows through the leaves in the fall
Oct 2013 · 1.0k
Driven
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
The sun hasn't risen yet
the black hatchback opens up on the Lee Bridge
in the rear view mirror the city shrinks minuscule
as I forge forward at a steady pace of fifty
No matter where My destination is
the reason is always the same
escape
like a thief in the night
trying to put some distance between me, myself, and I
daydreaming ceaselessly as traffic flows on every side
the front tire has a slow puncture
the door panel barely hanging on
in much need of an oil change
driving alone below the aspersions cast by unwanted eyes
as the rain slowly comes down to blind and cleanse
I never got to say half of the things I wanted
and I know that I won't write half of the words inside me
so I'm impatient
laying on the horn
and flipping old ladies on their way to church the bird
faces not seen enough to be memorized
hands not felt
laughter never shared
these things haunt me
holding their flickering candles to the bottom of my feet
Driven now
the sun hasn't come up yet
which is good
because before it does
I have some things that I need to do
Oct 2013 · 839
Dreamscape
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
is anybody out there
listening to the scrape of heart on rib cage?
ten times over
the knocker sounds
ten times over
the doors remain steady
voices sound from the other side
muffled against the wood
quiet and lulling at times
mostly raging
frothing
the figure stands guard
clad in a suit of dark
and the figurine sits on its haunches
laughing and grinning always
the black is a thick blanket
infinite yet tiny
electrically charged with dreams
and it's easy to get lost
and scared
too easy to flee fast on feet
but to weather the barrage of flowing thunder storm
is to bring closer the possibility
of a greater tale
Oct 2013 · 753
The Circle of Life
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
The city breathes. It sweats and cries and knows of love and strife. The endless grid of connecting streets and alleys are veins which carry the tales of all its inhabitants. Passing them to vital organs and tissues and muscles as needed. The journeys we take - the paths we walk - are all strands of the web of humanity. We all add to it, we all take from it, And we touch each other's lives in some way, even if we don't know it. A girl walks down Broad st until she hits Bowe. She is alone - carrying only what she could fit in her pockets. She gets to the starbucks. Goes in. Orders a coffee or a tea or maybe a bite to eat. She goes outside and, takes a seat, and reads the paper. Two tables away a black family sits discussing their daughter's plans for college. Radford? Longwood? ODU? She just wants to make her break. She sits listening to her parents in her camouflage jacket and black leggings, occasionally nibbling at her sandwich, two tables away from the girl who sits alone. Alone in her wool cardigan and her pinned up red hair. Alone smoking her cigarette.  The old man who lives at the elderly home for the mentally unstable and composes great feats of musical beauty stands off to the side in his worn slate suit beneath his snowball hair. He walks up to the alone girl and asks if he can maybe get one of those cigarettes, please. She hands it over and he lights up. The grey and blue smoke lazily wafting over the grey and brown tops of the city. The only evidence of the intersection of their paths slowly becoming part of the very city air we all breathe. One table away I sit with my notebook and coffee and cigarettes and sunglasses spying on the world. Making my little observations. The stained ink on the page the only evidence that our paths ever crossed slowly being read and recycled. It's the circle of life
Oct 2013 · 692
New Year's Eve
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
The clocks were counting down
10
9
8
7
All the way to 1
New Year's Eve
It was a matter of chance
Or was it?
You kissed me on the lips
It was just a peck
Near meaningless
But we were drunk.
Scratch that
i was drunk
You were too drunk
You said
just sit with me
And I did
Until you fell asleep
And I pretended
To not be that uncomfortable
Your body resting gently
Crushing the ever living hell out of my right arm
And I didn't mean to wake you
When I had to take my jacket off
I was hot but
I'm glad you woke up
Even for five minutes
Slightly smiling and very tired
I put my hands on your eyelids
And said
back to sleep
And that's just what we did
And it was great
Oct 2013 · 1.9k
Generation A.D.H.D.
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
attention problems you say?
well it's no wonder
our lives are dominated by screens
that keep appearing like pop-ups
and have you ever lived in a city?
it's hard not to be distracted
by thick framed pointless glasses
and whatever might be bobbing beneath those skirts
and we are the iced coffee frappamochalattechino generation
so it makes sense that we can't sit still
and when all of the information
in the known universe is just a google away
then why would we pay attention in school?
adderall
focalin
ritalin
*******
****
****
speed
what's the difference
it's all about medicating regulation to stop the second guessing
even when it rains we see the pitter patter
of each individual droplet
splashing
on each individual street
from west coast
to the orients
and when people can quote more commercials
than books
then where is the surprise?
let the adhd be
stop telling kids to stop day dreaming
it's the only thing that might save them
from later life mid-life crisis screaming
Oct 2013 · 1.8k
Artsy Fartsy
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
I could get into the whole
an artist says a hard thing in a simple way
but that doesn't seem to be the case
if I have to see one more black and white photo
of an empty playground
I'll burn every camera store to the ground
and if I hear anymore about how pained your soul is
I might just shoot myself
artsy fartsy
silly *****
these words come willingly
but truth be told
I'd rather read the ingredients on my shampoo bottle
sorry.
Oct 2013 · 826
Girls like assholes
Oct 2013 · 898
Bragadocio
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
I could sit my *** down
and write a hundred ******* poems
and not even touch on the subject of *******
or I could write an ode to the obscene
and here it praised as beauty
call me cocky
but you haven't seen it yet
humility tastes like vegetables
and I've never had time for 'em
give me a felt tip
and I'll make you smile, laugh, cry, and come
within four minutes
and I'll write those cutsie ******* poems
that make your older sisters say
awwwwww
like a text from a girl
saying hey
with about a million y's and ten emoticons
you like me
I don't know why
maybe it's maybeline
or maybe it's the keystrokes
stroking your ego
while I throw mine in the laundry
I wasn't raised to be bragger
but I wasn't raised not to be
wasn't raised to stop and see
the people smelling roses
or striking different poses
my smile is like similes
my method is a metaphor
my ***** soon is spilling on the bathroom floor
take this braggadocio
and put it in your back pocket
I don't need it anymore
and I don't want it
Oct 2013 · 657
S(crew). O(ur). S(ouls).
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
call this college drop out a cab
to take him back to the good path
and find some gauze to stuff that mouth
because it's full of too many
**** its
but the thing is
it's easy to worry about the things which don't matter
when you're searching for a reason for the spawning of your matter
and I've never had that problem
I used to wonder why I wasn't born
some poor African kid with a bloated stomach and a war lord
then I figured that it's because I'm real freaking lucky
but it's funny
to see so many people
hopping around like bunnies
worried about the fight between what's good and evil
when all I'm thinking is
holy mother of God
that girl has a nice ***
or Jesus Christ
is it really four O'clock already
I think I sold my soul
not to the devil
he's a real *******
I think I sold it
to the people born in the shadow of the hill
because they really could use it
then again
I probably just dropped it in the toilet
when I was taking a ****
so ***** my soul
and ***** yours too
because we are all about to die
in the grand scheme of things
and nobody one hundred years from now
will probably ever say
*at least he had a good soul
Oct 2013 · 818
Photo Albums
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
from the times when we lost the ball over the hedge
and had to ask for teacher's approval
past the days sneaking onto the farm
performing hay bale removal
running away from angry farmers
and school dances
those moments you heart catches
in your throat
before you ask
you wanna dance or something?
from the times your heart rate was thumping
from this sinking ship we're all jumping
first drink is never the last
everything is so rosy when we are looking back
pained goodbyes
and times spent laughing
flying across the world
to the sound of dull clapping
new weather new school new friends
torn pages and books that don't end
public school and private
mountains we haven't climbed yet
and a new set of smiles
fading all the while
while we become someone we haven't yet met
try hard not to get scared and jet set
changes and pretty girls
all alone in the world
just like everybody else
the book shelves
we never built
and the schools we never graduated from
we all put these lyrics in our songs
cracked bongs and braces
all to say I loved you if you ever loved me
we turn the pages so fast
that we lose some moments
but others are burned into our eyes
like the stage lights which burned so bright
even when the pictures fades to sepia
or black and white
we have blank leaves left to leave behind
and the camera around our necks is only so heavy
because it's full of film
so crack a smile
and grab a friend
family
lover
stranger
enemy
and show your good side
and scream cheese
from the top of your lungs
Oct 2013 · 835
This Purgatory
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
******* hoodies and stained jeans
rank socks and two day old underwear
get back from work
collapse into the couch
feeling the exhaustion creep up from toes to top
smelling like an ashtray
eyes red from carrying heavy bags
***** the cap on and catch it with the flame
smoke filling it up
raising a fish out of the ocean
three
two
one
mouth pushes down as lungs become acrid
hold it in until you float away
now exhale
the body high
paranoia
giggles
sink deeper into the couch
ride the waves back
until you can see land
then find the message in the bottle
it says
you're not done quite yet
empty clinking
no more thinking
head is reeling
no more feeling
face the ceiling
fall asleep on the sofa
wake up long enough to crawl to bed
at one in the morning
fall into the black brick wall of unconsciousness
alarm clock screams ****** ******
snooze just a little further
brush the dentals
ice cold water washes over a washed up face
climb in the car at seven fifteen
to go make enough money
to do it all again
we stay in this purgatory
waiting to see if we make the list
heaven on hell
without a soul to sell
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
Medicated through calming hushed tones
stating that everything is fine
everything is going according to plan
but in the back of my mind
I feel it pulsing
the feeling that what tides me over
is not going to last
and that one day
all of the smart choices in the world
won't save me from the serrated teeth
of the beast
which stalks us all
from womb to tomb
the cackling maniacal laughter
of an abomination set and ready to feed
on your mark
get set
flee
flee from the path which leads to slaughter
flee to safe havens of solitude
flee to the crowds
lose yourself
to the thrashing ocean
of accepting the free fall
the ground won't hurt worse than the sky
Oct 2013 · 668
Behind Closed Eyes
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
under all the beds
in every closet ajar
these things are very real
the thoughts suppressed
the last cold breath
the moment before death
the void between all things
all the green paper life rafts in the world
won't stop the blood from seeping into so many lungs
and one day
long after recess laughter
and birthday morning smiles
these things will dance under the harvest moon
they are drowning the children in the rivers of Madison Avenue
and shaping them to soldiers of the dull
shooting innocents point blank in the face
with pop-up ads
The fry cook king
laughing at the bloated corpses
holding up his monuments
a shadow will break through the clouds
and consume the flickering candles
waiting to go out
in the metaphorical cave
Oct 2013 · 735
Waiting for the Silence
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
driving through traffic
knifing back and forth between lanes
flooring it to the end
slamming on the brakes before the cliff eats him
surrounded by other people
he quakes,
vision blurs,
blackens,
then red
with a sweep of his arm
he could remove them all
waiting for the time to come
when the walls they worked so *******
crumble into dust
lost in the sands of time
and the monsters on the outside
come in
and thin the herd
he waits for that moment
in dark apartment bedroom
or in smoking sections
and coffee shops across the land
that smile is the reaper's sickle
gums ******
stomach grumpy
eyes reduced to darkened slits
maybe one day
they'll forget what a day is
and he is patiently waiting
behind a camel and a bottle
he waits for the music of all things
to fade into a warm
comfortable
silence
Oct 2013 · 760
Not getting caught
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
The feeling was that of hide 'n seek
Breath slowling under a light layer of leaves
In shadow and foliage of some great tree
Not getting caught
I started smoking after the first cigarette I stole
Right under my parents' noses
That feeling of lightning ripping through me
That was what I was hooked on
Not getting caught
Oct 2013 · 780
Excuses
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
Excuses are like *******
everybody's got one
and if you don't
then that's
very
very
weird
yeah it's silly, so sue me
Oct 2013 · 571
The Crying City
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
it's rained all week
grey drop
after grey drop
the city is crying
the bums rush to shelter
in doorways
and under bridges
the people sit with their feet up
in their comfy sweatpants
and hoodies
drinking warm cups of tea
the animals
are out in the wet
grinning
and howling at the moon
drinking up the tears
of the crying city
Oct 2013 · 1.1k
The Pressure
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
For as long as I can remember I have always been haunted by what I now refer to as "The Pressure". This hideous beast contains all that is wrong with the world - doubt, restlessness, greed, anger, love, hate. The Pressure is what makes me vibrate impatiently at the thought of standing in one place for another moment. The Pressure is cripples me with sly thoughts about rent and food. The titanic thick blackness waits just out of view at every turn - waiting to envelop me at any sign of vulnerability. The way your eyes vibrate within your skull and how your vision becomes nothing but a mess of colors and shapes in times of great rage - that's The Pressure.

The Pressure is not a purely malignant force - in today's world of ceaseless gray one would be a fool to assume that anything can be described by such flimsy words as "good" or "evil". The Pressure made me who I am today and even as these words leave my fingertips it is still shaping me. Molding me. The Pressure allows us to see the true nature of our structural fortitude. Perhaps - like the countless others in this world - I am sedimentary and thus destined to be crushed into more and more smaller pieces until I resemble sand. But maybe, just maybe I am a piece of coal just waiting to turn into a dazzling, unbreakable, diamond.
Oct 2013 · 975
Baby Blue
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
she had her lingering pale blue eyes
and long blonde hair
skin like paper
dotted here and there with freckles
She was the first
way back when
in the first grade
her name haunted that old farm house
she was the first

A friends sister
back in the sixth grade
she was two years older than me
and **** it
she carried it well
I'd sit next to her
on the sofa
waiting for my friend
to come down the stairs
so we could walk to school

The short brunette
who loved the Chicago Bears
watching that super bowl
in the rec room of my parents' house
truth or dare
a peck on the lips
my seventh grade conquest
bathed in nostalgia
I don't remember who won
I don't even remember who was playing

high school came
and brought with it
a new field of roses
some of them wilted
all of them perfect
I told her she would have made a great mother
and I meant it
my best friend's girl

The little church girl
little robin red cheeked
prom night photos
suits and dresses
and smiles and holding
crystallized in the flash of a Nikon

The girl with her guitar
and her poster
carpe that ******* diem
her upper teeth
came out below her curling lip
and when she smiled
a hint of gums
a hint of pearl
the one that time
placed out of reach
in some other place
with some other people

For one night
there was the blonde bombshell
she came to town once a year
like a hurricane
a natural disaster
that I stood outside waiting for
with my umbrella

The ones who were smarter than me
the ones who loved me
when I didn't
the ones who laughed
at my smart *** comments
the ones who were there
to pull me from
the flipped wreckage
of the silver hyundai accent that I miss so much
the ones who wouldn't take any of my ****
the one's I see walking by on the street
the one's I only see behind closed eyelids
the special love I have for all of them
all of them
my baby blue
Inspired by Badfinger, Bob Dylan, and Breaking Bad
Oct 2013 · 1.0k
a smile of defeat
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
My first rejection Email arrived today
during a rainy day at work
My phone vibrated once in my pocket
We are sorry to inform you
due to an influx of submissions
we will not be publishing your piece
we wish you luck in your future writing endeavors
the staff
of course,
me being me,
my first reaction was to be *******
a child not allowed that really sweet action figure
because
"We need food"
but after stewing on it a while
I realized
I need this
because it's not success which defines us
a lucky guy can succeed
it's how we respond to defeats
the big ones
the small ones
the oh my god why don't I just quit
failures
that they'll write in the book of judgement
long after we are just dust
trapped inside of a coffin
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
You said don't overthink this
and don't go writing me
any of those ******* love poems
because we both know this isn't love
I said,
you look nice with no shorts on
thanks,
you said
I said I love the way you look without those pesky denim shorts
you told me to stop being a smart ***
but let's be honest
we both knew
you were getting on that plane
and that I was going to write this poem anyways
Oct 2013 · 726
The Awfully Thin Line
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
Poets these days
take Bukowski and the Beats
much too seriously
I mean come on
Bukowski is great and all
for a selfish *******
and the if the Beats make your heart beat
well that's just swell
for a group of pretentious purple prosers
and don't point those fingers of outrage at me
my library too is full of them
all I'm saying is
the line between inspiration and imitation
is awfully thin
Oct 2013 · 364
Great is a Big Word
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
They say things like:
Who,
What,
Where,
Why,
How,
how they say these words
you just know they don't mean
anything by it
-Howya doin'?
-good.
-just good? not great?
-great is a big word
-beautiful.
Oct 2013 · 1.7k
Recess is Over Now
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
He likes to play pretend
making sense of the make believe
believing all the words
which worked their way
through his windows
he climbs to the top of hay bales
to tumble towards the earth
a heap of laughter
running away from the farmers
perched high atop their tractors
like a tractor beam
he is drawn towards
the endless day dreams
of rainy Mondays
behind classroom windows
but recess is over now
and the bar is open
all night
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
They'd tell you to worship
the mannequins which march mechanically
like marionettes making their way
towards the main stage
But you've always been able to tell
Gods from false Idols
you fill these empty halls
with your electric electives
while I watch you
chase away the pigeons
just to see them fly
you said to me once
you're too boring
who wants to be bored?

this creature of habit
habitually picking up bad habits
like you.
I lay in bed all morning
writing my poems
I am a raconteur
you live the words
my hopeless anti-heroine
protagonist
antagonizing the ink from this pen
and no matter what happens
I'm happy to have had
my brief moment of observation
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
I was sitting in traffic
From the belvedere 2nd st exit
Through 2nd and Byrd
And cary, main,
Franklin street
The parking garage on my right
On my left:
Buildings anonymous
I see the Wells Fargo bank
Looming over cars
And more cars
This country
It's drowning in concrete and cars
And these people
They drive like cows with no feet
In my car I'm a fuming ball of impatience
I say
**** this ****
And to my left
In building anonymous land
A pretty looking artsy/hipster girl
Says
I know, right?
Connections
Lost in a green light switch
Grace to the alley
Which takes me to 1st
Takes me about 10 minutes
I park illegally
And ask a middle age black couple
'scuse me,
What the hell is going on?

They respond
the two street festival.
thanks.
I go into my apartment
And life goes on.
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
She was just sitting there
over on the curb
looking lovely
and beat up
and tired and hungry
too perfectly imperfect
to pass up.

So I walk on over
trying to think of the best line
I've got
but I've always been better
off the top of my head
when I can find it
so I said to her

listen up sweet heart
I'm the kinda guy
who keeps his cigarettes
close to his chest
You listening?
because I'm the kinda guy
whose heart beats
and gut growls
all for you
so how about
you and I
go back to my place
and wait for tomorrow to wake up?


So things were good
for a while there
Maybe even great
but years of strong loving
only led to
scar tissue
and more scar tissue
all of it so bitter
she(I) went nuts
throwing plates
Now,
no eats
no sleep
breath won't keep
beer though
so It's all good
because If I keep on
drinking like I drink
and smoking like I smoke
living like I live
then I'll be dead by sixty five

so when you go out looking for love
be careful,
because I found mine
and she killed me
Oct 2013 · 3.2k
Trapped in Sunday Nights
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
Sunday night is a dull hum
constantly buzzing in my ear
Sunday night is a broken clock
hands stuck at five to five
Sunday night is experiencing technical difficulties
bars of black, white, and other colors
Sunday is so high it can't get off the couch
was that somebody knocking at the door?
Sunday night is so drunk
it fell asleep in the closet
only to wake up thinking
this doesn't look like my bed
Sunday night is trying out for varsity
only to make the practice squad
Sunday night is a suburban strip mall
at five AM on a Monday

I took my Sunday nights
and poured them in a glass
downed it in one gulp
and projectile vomited
all over my Monday through Saturdays
I took my Sunday nights
and put them on a page for you
Oct 2013 · 1.3k
Who killed Chivalry?
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
She walked past him
heading west on broad
as he walked east
skinny and twisted
head high
chest out
like a vector he followed
his stained smile
his flashing eyes
looking directly at her
like he expected something
have a nice day
he said
she kept on walking,
thinking to herself,
*what the **** was that guy's problem
Oct 2013 · 792
Anxious - we trudge on
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
anxious nervous twitching mess
is it hunger?
excitement?
rage?
fear?
You carry around that weight
all day
everyday
when will those legs buckle?
when I'm dead
Oct 2013 · 876
She had the limelight
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
She wasn't alone on the stage
she had her nerves
she had her sweaty palms
and shaky fingers
her rapid breath
she had the spot light
the audience
and her busted old
acoustic guitar
she had the limelight
drinking from it greedily
she had the limelight
that she was allergic to
recklessly taking it in
she had the limelight
and she had me
Oct 2013 · 506
early dining hall crowd
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
The dining hall was empty
all the smart people
were either in class
or still sleeping
at eight o'clock
the food is fresh
but still tastes like rubber
and the watery coffee
doesn't do anything
to shake off the waking dream
the faces of these people
all say the same thing
"what the hell am I doing up this early?"
Oct 2013 · 814
bathroom murder scene
Harry J Baxter Oct 2013
The bathroom looks like a ****** scene
blood spotting the walls,
the floor,
the yellowing porcelain,
blood.

My brother calls me three times around midnight
I don't pick up
I'm off in la la land
chasing funny things
put to bed on the sofa
in my friends' dorm
too high to fall safely
drunk enough to take the risk

The bathroom is a ****** scene this morning
all of that blood once ran through veins
bringing oxygen to muscles and organs
keeping my brother ticking
and now it's turning the color of rust
on the bathroom floor
Sep 2013 · 470
September 30th, 2013
Harry J Baxter Sep 2013
I'm sitting in my empty old house alone. Just me and the dogs. The air is heavy with nostalgia. I miss all the times I cursed out loud after stepping on bricks of lego. Somewhere earlier on my timeline I veered off the highway. These back roads are too dusty to always see the markings. It's not great for gas. But I think I get pretty good mileage.
It's funny how who we are can be so different from who we thought we would be as children. The drugs, the passive rage, the fear to do what must be done. I still haven't let it grip me - there's still that.
Whether it is good, bad, or ugly - **** happens. We have to learn to deal with it before we drown
Sep 2013 · 516
September 29th, 2013
Harry J Baxter Sep 2013
Hungover
too tired to move
too anxious to stand still
the taste and smell
lingering
as malt liquor pours through pores
the sun is daggers
and every step upsets a new joint
the customers at work -
******* with dollar bills for faces
the surgeon general wouldn't advise you
to operate that motor vehicle
hungover
because some nights
have a harder time saying goodbye
than others
Sep 2013 · 808
September 28th, 2013
Harry J Baxter Sep 2013
Five days. It has been five days since I've wrote anything down.It's typical that inspiration comes when I'm furthest from the pen: driving, working, high, drunk. I'm drowning in excuses when all I need to do is attach my lazy *** to the chair and keyboard. I still haven't fixed my typewriter.
I prefer the company of girls because I've always felt distant from my father. Funnily enough - people compare us all the time. Even I can see it now, as I am writing this. I don't want to fault him. He worked hard to make my life relatively easy. But the disconnect is there.
These colt 45 cans aren't treating me very well. Neither is my empty stomach. Who cares? not me. Apathy is the plague of the millennial generation. And I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by sanity. Props to Ginsberg for that line.
The night is early and I have work at nine.
I'm going to keep on drinking this awful beer and see what happens.
Sep 2013 · 534
September 23rd, 2013
Harry J Baxter Sep 2013
Time is the enemy and the instrument. Time's hands always ticking away like laughter. It was that same laughter which led me drop out from college. The same laughter which keeps me up to the early hours of restless nights.
It's hard to live a life of uncertainty. It scares me to think about the breaking point. Even though I don't know where it is. Will rock bottom be made up of steel or quick sand?
I feel the need to connect with other people. But other people can be fickle, annoying things. It doesn't matter. This life I've found myself in requires solitude.
I fantasize a lot about piling my clothes and belongings into my car and skipping town. where ever you want to go ahead of you. All troubles, responsibilities, and worries behind you. Just you, the gas pedal, and the roar of the black asphalt rushing beneath you.
strange times are ahead. Good and bad. tragic defeats and well earned victories. And all of the kickings which come with. I am **** excited
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