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 Dec 2013 Harry J Baxter
Kasey
I'm writing with unsteady hands
Walking on frozen feet.
Rebellious phase. Changing myself.
Always with the realizations at 1:30 in the morning.
And when I write about waking up to your face it's because I can see it.
Just as it is like a lucid dream.
I smell coffee all over every fantastic moment of existence
Because I'm fairly certain my existence started with you.
You don't know how often I cry, or how loudly I think.
Or that I'm not really a writer. Just a distracted
Addict
To putting myself in characters.
Remembering what my life was, and what it has become.
I don't write I create.
I don't write I remember.
I don't write I dream.
And it's not about me, it's not about you,
It's about everything I've ever wanted it to be but
Was
Am
Too afraid to do
Be.
Become.
Idealism is everything I wasn't but am choosing to aspire to.
With my hair with my eyes with my ears.
I want you to see me the way I see me.
But that's unreliable.
 Dec 2013 Harry J Baxter
Redshift
i've been trying to navigate my own army of flipphones defying the neverending onslaught of iphones i am american and i love
Paranoid minds never find peace
A thousand battles I have fought
With nobody here beside me
Anxiety builds swiftly
The pounding in my chest
Every mistake I've ever made
Makes me wish for death

The future looks bleak
Taking a pill every day
Chemically imbalanced brains cause suffering
Praying for something to take me away
Hit the bottle hard, looking for an escape
Anything to outlive this madness
That plagues my every day
The feeling I can never explain something just ingrained within you.
I can't explain what I never could understand.
We are the dreamers and suffer those who are awake.

Tragic are those who lack vision, misfortune is yours please spare mine.
The blade is now a pen my blood now Ink .
For whom it is lost is more found I.
The rejects of night are but misfits of my day.

As the poison seeps in as my creativity flows unto a void created in chaos none of which
was of my choosing.

Were all dreamers caught within a nightmare's grasp, losers of a game we chose not to play.
But we **** sure tried in spite of it all.
The blank page remains a suicide note to the forgotten chapter in a dust collected manuscript.

Secrets are best left buried like shipwrecks on the ocean floor.
Why be the judge when none are innocent or ever so guilty as I.

**** the nights for bringing the memories upon me ,
and curse my thoughts for remaining after all these drinks.
Haunted are the souls of the living simply empty vessels that fill the streets.

Many years have passed.
Yet these thoughts never age .

******* the nights and winters empty chill!
The fire now  only seems to smolder a dragons bluff to wolves such as I.

I hear the others howl I simply choose to ignore the sound.
Taking refuge in my thoughts and torment in scars past.
Empty are these thoughts that I unearthed tonight.

I hear the howls outside my door.
They are my burden and none else to understand.
In witching hours of lost hopes and broken dreams I find my solace.

I've ran with demons and slept with many angels, to burn only in the cold of ice.
Tomorrow is always a dream as from this nightmare maybe I'll wake.
Treasure the silence in it we find our true selves.

I hear the howls I simply choose to no longer answer.
Tragic characters in an empty theater
God doesn't watch us
God doesn't care
The passion we were born with fades to dust
With every cigarette we inhale so eager for our death
On the last night on Earth I will stand by your side
We can plunge to our death
In love,
You and I.
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