written July 9th, 2016

"Familiarity lingers within the silence

A quiet little remembrance of the past I once knew

All alone - yet content

For once, this feeling I feel is no longer surrounded by repetition and tension

Now, I breathe in deep and read the screen through groggy eyes with dark circles and feel so very much blessed with all I have

The silence is no longer uncomfortable

I am basking in its infinite nothingness"

written November 7th, 2016

" All we are is minds bouncing ideas off each other's tongues,

tying together words and knotting the ends of each sentence with and emotional appeal

It's not all ethos pathos logos my friends

Tongues conversing, starting up the engine until you switch gears to  cruise along, floating while speaking your deepest thoughts

It's hard to get your brain to say the right words to emulate how you feel

Constantly trying your hardest to get your points across,

Knowledge is just an essence of this notion

And experience is just an additional charge

Metaphors are meaningless when you are lonely and scared

And I just want to continue to flick my tongue in order for you to feel my pain"

written November 15th, 2016

"Some say your favorite color sneaks up on you

A repetitive slate that shows itself time and time again

Some say depression does the same

One day - you're feeling alright, the next you're dwelled in this feeling of desire

Desire for the sweet kiss of death to lay its lips upon your cheek

Affection always was highly underrated

And so you lie there - body aching, trying not to throw up, tired of your time, life, dignity

And you wander where all this time has gone and how you ended up here

Yet if one thing is for sure,

You're content in the pitch black nothingness that surrounds you,

Black is a new favorite"

written July 18th, 2016

"Thank you for letting me stare into your eyes, without asking why

Grabbing my hand, holding it tight and kissing it while you drive

Thank you for all the memories we have shared,

Running your fingers through my hair, petting my kitty when he's scared and being there for me at all times

Thank you for smiling when telling me "you're mine"

And being the only thing one thing on my mind at all times

Thank you for impacting my life in such a way that makes me sappy when I say the words:

I love you"

written February 16th, 2016

"Desperation for a change

Undeniable want for something better

I am undoubtedly obsessed with my imperfections

Leading me downward to a new form of insecurity

Feeling uneducated, unwilling, and intolerant with every day that passes

Days go by fast yet no progress is made

Just the same repetitive process, the same redundant schedule that repeats itself into insanity

How do I change into who I inspire to be?"

written March 23rd, 2016

"Stuck in a rotating box

Tick-tock

Spinning in circles round and round until the world crashes

Beneath my fingertips

Nothing is ethereal

Everything is made up of verbal conversations that have no meaning, no depth, no perception

No emotion is portrayed but the silent howl I hold within

The silent anger and frustration that boils beneath my skin

Cranking up the heat until I explode - how will I overcome this feeling of suffocation and get to a point where I feel

Free?"

written February 21st, 2016

"Undoubtedly

Irrevocably

Engrossingly

Infatuated with one

Who makes the feelings stick on my tongue

My mind is racing when I'm with him, have so much to say but can't even begin

To describe the way his eyes look when he stares at me, the fact that every time he smiles or laughs I feel my heart beating faster, the way that his skin in contact with mine feels like atoms colliding and

I can't deny anything for I am merely but a speck compared to his obtuse proximity to perfection

As time moves on, the essence of his being creates a heavy heart that grows fond with his simultaneous attention and affection

Without him,

The sky would not be blue, the grass not green nor anything learned applicable

Without him,

Life would make no sense"

written May 31st, 2016

"And then it hit me

The avoidable thoughts that thrashed through my mind were unbearable

The idea of a life with the absence of you in it

And the idea of a mind like yours not sharing it's complex and vivid thoughts day by day with mine cause me sorrow and confusion

You are my ray of light

You are my rock

and ultimately, you are the reason my heart jumps out of its chest

my irises grow when I set sights on your face

my smile is shown day by day and my laughter is brought on by you

I cannot complete a thought without the idea of you passing through my mind

And then it hit me,

I'm in love with you"

written August 23rd, 2016

"In the midst of the night, through groggy eyes, she slips her hand through the inviting slits of his

She grips tightly, trying to make body language say the words she was too tired to say

Half asleep, she smiles for this is the first in nights that she's woken up to him by her side

Even with her feeble, tired mind,

she never get tired of him"

written August 28th, 2016

"Numb to the illusion that past feelings are not present

Numb to the inevitable, reserved, and repressed thoughts that are now coming to the surface

Numb to the cold salty water drops that are making a daily appearance

Numb to the fact that I'm blind that we are not the same

I feel so numb, when I hear your name

Heart starts racing, mind moves at millions

I can not fathom the 'what ifs' and 'whys'  yet they're all that crosses through my mind

I need someone to thaw me out

I need the old you back, to make me feel warm again"

written August 30th, 2016

"I usually can't stand sleeping in warmth

I tear off all my sheets, tossing and turning in my bare skin, flipping the pillow from one side to the other

Back and forth

The fan is on high yet my skin is containing heat, causing my nights well rested to not be achieved

Yet, the nights you chose to end your day by my side, this is simply not the same

I wrap my arms around your waist, body to body, heat to heat we drive each others temperatures higher

I could sleep all night long in these conditions, if it meant I could intertwine your fingers with mine, kiss your lips and say goodnight, close my eyes to match the dark room,
if only it meant I could wake up next to you"

written January 10th, 2016

"Eyes diluted, staring into yours - red and glossy

Blood has turned to distilled grapes, and I taste the sin on my tongue

You feel up and down my spine causing little explosions to erupt inside my body

Inside every ligament and muscle

The shivers flow through my veins and I feel as if the world has stopped

For once, I'm content in everything that is occurring

Nothing has made me feel as high as the feeling of your touch"

written February 16th, 2016

"Time is not a measure of progression nor a measure of defeat

Time is surreal

It is the absence of our mind in time that we don't find till later on in our lives

It's the 'looking back' of memories that are branded into our minds as nothing but

It's the past in which we will never get back

Time is not a measure of a moment for it is the measure of the feelings we once felt over a specific amount of

Time

It's irrelevant and key in every day life

It's the absolute yet the inferior

It's essential yet oblique

Time is everything

Time is nothing

Time is eternal

Yet only exists within ones own mind"