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Jul 2020 · 80
night terrors
Hannah Jul 2020
I woke up to a pitch black room. My eyes shot open from the nightmare I already can’t recall and I felt odd. The street light outside left a yellow glow over the neighborhood. I could just make out the house across the street and their porch light reflecting into my room. I woke up and my mouth felt heavy like it needed to unravel. My fingers hurt with imaginary pain of pressure being pushed against them and I didn’t know what to do. I had to be careful with my next moves. My breath came out fast and heavy. My chest expanded with the beat of my heart as I recalled how many breaths it would take to feel normal again. 257 my mind told me. I would feel normal again after 257 breaths with my tongue losing weight and my fingers losing pressure but that was a lie. I got heavier and heavier as I lay in my bed staring at the yellow streetlight paint the road. I was being choked. I had to get up. Had to stand. Or I would die. I would die in my bed counting my breaths with the weight of a thousand worlds sitting on my chest, on my tongue, holding my hands, choking me with 257 breaths left.
Sep 2018 · 91
piece by piece
Hannah Sep 2018
Sometimes it makes sense to cry
To let everything go
To feel the weight fall off your shoulders
Like rain slipping down the branches
Of dying trees
To sit down and sob
And let yourself fall apart
Piece by piece
First my fingers go
They reach for what isn’t there
Then my toes slip off
Followed by my feet
Walking towards a future that doesn’t exist
My arms go next
To go hold him one last time
Knees leave, too
They kneel for a God that
I’m not sure exists
I say goodbye to my shoulders
They are for someone else to lean on
Then the rest of me melts away
My body turns into water
Into tears
Because that’s all that i am
My brain goes last
With broken thoughts
Lost memories
Forgotten love

Finally i am whole

Because i am broken
Sep 2018 · 86
Cracked
Hannah Sep 2018
A smile stands upon my face
Holding back the rain
Thunder strikes a mile away
And then i feel the pain
I look away from the storm
That stirs from deep within
I pray to heaven far above
To forgive me for my sins

The lightning strikes and then
the clouds turn black again
The rain begins to attack
Seeping through my cracks

— The End —