We tight rope walk
down our double edged sword
we wage war like the Gods
atop Olympus
We cultivate life
like the farmer tends to his crops
We are that of
flesh
blood
heart
emotion
strength
weakness
grit
and steel
We crack the earth
with our footsteps
and call it industry
A species of slaves
who enslave each other
because it is all we know
dark times pass above us
like thunder clouds
but in moments
we produce unthinkable greatness
like forks of lightning
across the black canvas
of the night sky

I'm the unwanted one
The second kid
The youngest
The annoying one who won't go away

I swear, they want to get rid of me
I'm all problems
I feel so alone
I've been used

They mock me constantly
They destroy me with ease
They wonder why I've been depressed
They ignore me, push me away

My parents did everything they wanted to with my brother
And now, they just don't think I'm here
They wished I wasn't in the family

I just don't know where to go
Stick up to them, nothing happens
Hide away, and I die inside...

this had been it
the big showdown
a test of gamble
and wit
and *****
and steel
the test which separates the men from the boys
which separates the fight from the flight
so what's it going to be?

Tim called me to let me know he was outside
Tim being my Dad
my Dad who I see so much of myself in
My Dad who I haven't always said the kindest things about
he came upstairs
I let him in
I had just cleaned the apartment
he said
let's see why the school hasn't sent me a bill
I said
there is no bill to send
and there never will be
now brace yourself
the bomb will go off in 3...
2...
1....
then nothing
just acceptance
acceptance which took me aback
because I hadn't expected it
or the side of support it came with
half of a year
I spent
no
wasted
fretting over this moment
and that's all it was
a moment
nothing too special
but the weight which fell from me
made all the difference to my disposition
the time of lies is over
the time to be
the real
Harry J Baxter is here

I feel it bubbling up inside of me
like bad Mexican food
like that feeling you get
when some unfortunate soul
****** you off
like that feeling you get
when you have a full tank of gas
and an open road ahead of you
spike my veins
and see the beauty which is pumped out
see the filth and **** and hate and love and life and death and desperation and hope
and they boil over
singing the kitchen counter tops
and put the liquid in pill form
to feed to people
who are sure they've lost their minds
let me whisper
what mind?
from the city rooftops
until everybody
runs out into the street
naked
their faces raised to God
looking to be kissed
or cried upon
words can ****
and words can bring life
words are the building blocks of every sky scraper
and every genocide
and every person
and for brief lightning flash moments
I come close to being able to control them
but just for a moment
a moment of control

The children are all going back to school
glum looks on their glum faces
and the days are slowly
becoming more and more
gray
Summer sings her swan song
as the sun sets for what seems like the last time
Summer's end feels like a funeral
for the death of childhood nostalgia innocence
as the sky makes way for fall
and biting winds
blue skin
and *** hoodies and cigarette butts
and you'll see those friends again at thanksgiving
maybe
but they won't be the same person
and neither will you
so take one more night this Summer
to spend with those you love
before we are all thrown back to the lions

my younger brother is getting older
and as life unfurls before him
like a long day at work
on a cold winter morning
I hope he has it easy
and fun
I hope he has it the way he wants
as for me
don't think of me as a person
naw
think of me
as the childhood memory
you repress
and don't know why
think of me as all the advice you never took
the sheep which you sacrificed for crop cycles
the facebook pictures
you'd never show your parents
the *** you're ashamed to say you like
the drugs you're ashamed to say you need
martial law is in place
and the revolution starts in your gut
so **** the fire to your forehead
and shoot rainbow shots in the faces
of all of the wrinkled suits
behind storefront windows
pull out your teeth out
and plant the speaking tree
mocking birds die beautifully
and I'm in the mood for a funeral
one day
we can all explode