I'm not good. things aren't gooood.
You know things aren't good when you aren't enjoying them.
My head is bobbing back and forth confused with charts and numbers and deadlines and fees and insurance and taxes and working out and-

No. I'm tired. I'm not even 22 yet.

A text message from my dad can ruin my day.

Modelo and lime, that is the best part of my day.

Pretending to be cheery is terrible. I don't want a desk job, I don't want to be a regular at some ****** bar where I go with my friends every Wednesday.

I want clarity, I want to have some sort of stationary object that I can hold and count on.

don't we all.

It's not like things are really bad, but they aren't good.

It doesn't mean we're breaking up, I thought you'd understand.

My loves still there,  but for tonight ; pretend to hold my hand.

holding is lovely, sometimes too tight- takes me out of mind.

but for tonight, please let me be, I don't want company.

I had a plan A and a plan B
but no plan Z
didn't think it would get to that.

Now I know why people stay where they are.
It's safe, I was safe, Now I'm anxious.
Am I asking for too much? something to enjoy?

Shouldn't have done that.
but I did. I quit.

So I wait and type and hope to find better.
2 months too long.
has me second-guessing. everything
I was confident, now I'm buried under the covers as my mind talks to me.

I've had some bites, but nothing has been caught.
all I can do now is wait for my beloved tax refund and continue to apply for
everything.