Acedia
My god it's 3 in the afternoon
And still I have yet to move,
My slothful torso
Curling into a comma
To hide my face from what rests
Beyond my maroon sheets.

Avaritia
I want to enjoy this moment
Without feeling guilt
For letting the sunlight
Filter through my black curtains
Onto my fuzzy, outstretched legs.

Superbia
There are some days
When I refuse to let myself
Have this
Peace.
Today is not that day.
The knowledge makes me smile.
Softly.

Gula
I rose only once
To make orange spice tea
And to eat sugar cookies
With lemon frosting.
They're delicious, and I can't be
Brought to care
That I won't be burning
Them off later.

Luxuria
I sometimes wish,
Fleetingly,
That I had someone to share
This feeling with.
Someone to curl into
Quotations with.
I sigh into my pillow,
Slowly.

Ira
I grow upset with myself
For wanting something -
For wanting anything -
I see red,
But only for a moment.
I couldn't have this peace,
I knew as much,
So the heat quickly fades.

Invidia*
Still, the people who
Allow themselves such
Simple pleasure,
Such halcyon,
Are who I wish to be.

I don't know why
I bother with my voice,
A soft, pale thing,
That doesn't stretch,
No, it falls far and fast
And quietly.

I can't bring myself to
A single utterance
Worth my breath
And the world's time -
God!  There is no time to be
Loud and brash and fiery.

Not when you can seethe
Silently.

They say a choking throat
Shuts you up.
If so then
Will a slit to my throat
Let my voice pour out
Like cold, sad blood?

Yes?

Sign me up.

You think you’re a thunder clap,
But I know
You’re a solar storm
Trapped inside a marble.
I want you
To want me
As much as I want you.
Your body is made of Earth.
Rainwater eyes,
Caraway hair,
Birch skin.

I’d listen to you speak
For hours
Just so we could spend hours
Together.
You speak to stars in susurrations
That roll of your tongue -
I hold them in my palms
And aid their ascension.
Your heart is a hearth
Trying to warm a forest
Covered in snow -
I would help you spread.

People laugh at you
Because you’re a tad askew;
I laugh with you
Because you’re aligned perfectly.
I think I love you sometimes
And I’m scared
Because the sun has no need
To love the moon.

There is a rain, rimy rivulets ripping
The canvas of air; how is it I can breathe
When glass sinks with the setting sun –
An eye afire, I can’t stand the look of it,
Burning the sky like a charcoal
It’s pale, it’s blind, it’s alone –
Until all that remains are clouds
Made of cotton ***** and floss.  
Only giants may clean their teeth properly.  

Tree bark shines with the rain,
Contemptuous, wretched water  
Fit to feed our Belladonna,
Meant only for our Madonna –  
Why I fear you a mystery
Lost to the shivering trees and me.  
Green is drowning, I relish its fade
From my face, bloated and white
Like the shining, terrible moon, sitting alone

Alone to weep wistfully, pathetically
Until she fills the burns with leaking
Stars flooding barren hillcrests –
It’s what I’ve always told myself.  
It’s all I know.  
Careful now, the sidewalks hold mirrors,
It wouldn’t do to crack one with a fearful foot –
No, no, let their diameters grow…
It’s not as if I’ll see myself if I bothered to look.

An epiphyte mutually minding
Itself, came to a situation most binding!
To live and be wasted,
Or die and be tasted –
Both unsatisfactory it was finding!

“Please, use me for rest,
Not a taste test,”
Cried the little Mossy,
“My aren’t you bossy,”
Came a cry from Bird’s nest.  

And so up the Orchid grew
In order to eschew –
But to no avail!
For it can’t prevail
When up hungry Bird flew!

Another revolution
Winds about the clock
Ticking and tocking
Mock, mock, mocking
Me -
The eye entrenched
In stagnancy, so still
I stand
Alone -
Like a patch
Of dead, gold grass
Colored like midnight mass,
Full of whispered wishes
Unheard by a slumbering God.
Oh God, oh God
I am
Spinning on my spinster's wheel
Spinning cold thread for you to feel
And feel until I reel from your sweet, gentle hands,
Hands disgusted that they hold me.
Me, me, me
It's all I see
****** I swore to look
More and more
But the up and down
Swings me until I exist or drown,
Until I  am none and both, betwixt
The hands holding the revolver,
Revolving round bullets into me.

Oh my, how I
Endeavor to the end
Only to make a bend
Around to the beginning
Again.

How my hubristic heart grows heavy
With the blithering brevity
That is love -
Love how I scorn the very
Mention of the word, the worst word;
One made of tacky two buck cards
And cheap chocolate samplers.
Why love is nothing but absurd!

Tis on the mind of every man,
Burning Life's color til she grows wan
And waxen, my dear lady do not
Let the soft, sweet poppy besot
You - I know it's true face,
A sickly, febricula I fail to efface.

Love, how I abhor the name,
The act duplicitous for all involved,
There are no winners, merely fools
Left to drown in the din of falderal.
**** it to hell, that venomous visage!
I refuse to accept such a curse as love,
How I spit the letters one by one,
With you, fair monster, I am done.

Yet, I cannot seem to help
How much I yearn to stretch taunt
My heart til my love is gaunt,
Fraught with fear and thin with time;
It will be my undoing
All because I can't start shooing
That nuance of a feeling on its way
To ruin some other simpleton's day.

How I love to hate ye,
Are the thoughts that reside
Like a warm body curled beside me.