i look to the sky
and find myself
amongst the star(s
o softly breathing,
i wish i could
inhale thee)

i mold their skins
made of reaction
after reaction after
re(energize)action
i hold hydrogen
in my rough palm
until the cold fire
burns twin holes
through my hand(s
tuck together with
dripping plasma
opals that i wrap
about Night's neck
with tender finger)s
o speakth The Lord

i look to the sky
hoping to find myself
amongst the light of
sweet star(s
low and bright)
but i find myself
within black holes
drinking all my hopes
until they're re(purposed)
duced to nothing
mere (wo)man can see

i'd
cry
but
tears
fail
to
f
  a
     l
       l
in
space -
serving
only
to
blind
you

They say
If you find
Yourself
S
    i
      n
           k
             i
                n
                   g
You should
Breathe
And watch
As pearls of air
Ascend skyward,
Because they're meant
To carry you
Back from the deep,
Which takes you
By your head
And pulls you
Upsidedown
Until midnight water
Slides into your
Slack jaw -
The shimmering pearls,
They string up your
Heart and tug you
By the chest until
You burn, and still
The stars pull you
Home.

I fly up river
So that I may
Cry
For you,

You, the seventh sun of Venus -
Impossible -
The prism rain dropping from nighttime,
An enlightened energy.

Why oh why
Must I cry for
You
Sweet love, togetherness is not for us;
We are apart,
Not a part.

I'm so dizzy
With your name
And my name
Bouncing around my skull
Like free butterflies let loose on
Everything -
It's your fault.  
Of course.

Still I cry -
We could have our love song,
Which is the beat of snow,
Ice blue stone
Cold hearts leak.
Oh dear
You'd say
Love, don't fret
I'd say
And you'd laugh your robin laugh.

But instead I
Wait,
Slow like the walls around me,
My head sinking beneath blanket waves
Just so I can
Cry.
**** this.
I hear my own song.
It's my
Heart.

There's a hole in my chest,
Carved from sad, broad hands
Attached to thin wrists
That are my own.

All day and night it bemoans
Its very existence,
Its marred, pulpy edges
Because it never asked to be made.

In fact all my life I've been forbade
Of making holes, told they're voids
One cannot fill -
Better left for the lonely people.

And yet I thought a steeple
Or a plot of dirt, a flower ***
Was all the space needed
To feel whole.

So I dole
Myself one, only
To realize my mistake
Rather belatedly.

I'd rather I drown
Slowly, silently slipping
Beneath human waves

Than find myself burn
At the ends of their matchsticks
For I'll have chosen

When to cease swimming-
And I know within myself
*That I'll never stop.

I'm not sure
What love is
Because I've never
Felt fireworks
Nor have I heard
Heralding angels
Blowing tunes of the heart
In my lonely ears.  

I've read about it;
How it's like fire
Like whirlwinds,
Like fast cars,
Like earthquakes,
Like lightning,
Like falling.

If that's the case
I don't want it
Not when what it is
Will take my ribs
And invert them,
Snapping my bones
Like twigs beneath the heel
Of an unsuspecting boot,
Treating my heart like a tomato
Too red and ripe to do anything but burst
With a gossamer touch.  

I want love to be
Like sunlight, candles, fireflies
Like stars
Like wine -
Better with time -
Like clean dish soap
Like buttered popcorn
Like winter breath
Like leaves.  

Because I know,
At least I think I do,
That love is beautiful,
Not because it is perfect
Or happy, or new, or dangerous -
But because it is flawed,
It's a freckle on Life's plain face,
The gold dust dust caught on camera,  

I find myself wondering
How I would be
In love
Because surely
My love,
The kind that's slow,
And cold and quiet,
Isn't right.  
It's not some car to speed
Down the curve of a midnight road
Only to flip -
It's the skid marks.  

It's wrong,
It's not Romeo and Juliet,
It's not Jack and Rose,
It's not Bonnie and Clyde,
It's not Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  
It's a curious child
Finding a dandelion
And, as the seeds blow away,
They try to catch them.  

I guess I'll do my best
To fall
But, in my descent,
I'll be thinking
Of you
As I listen to the
Slow, cold beating
Of my broken heart.

When I have fears I won’t get likes
After posting my senseless selfie (taken in my bathroom),
After tweeting a witty, wasted “Yikes!”
Upon seeing the latest Cyrus escapade on Reddit come afternoon;
When I behold, upon night’s starred face,
I see it through my IPhone’s two-dimensional screen,
And I think that’s what’ll get the rest of the race
To notice me, after all I’m important – I don’t mean
To demean, but I’m the fairest creature of the hour;
I sometimes fear that you shall never look upon me,
Well I never have to worry for now I have the power
Of unreserved reticence to bestow upon thee –
**** the hollowed experience, the heart, the mind lag;
For my exhausted existence has been validated #420yoloswag.