the lulls of fog hug close
to the hips of the hills
caught
in the soaked grass
and the sighs of February

the styrofoam sticks
burned to the roots,
compact in the cracks
of the sidewalk so packed
into my memory

and the powdered
assimilation
leaves sweetness
on the base of my tongue

the hooves of fog
race us
they dance between the trees
bucking at the thunder
at the bursting
of my anticipation

I know
mostly
I don't even write anymore
in my streaks of
4 o'clock
the words barely come to my throat
and then fall into a knot
clotted coughs
taste like red roots and hip hop

the floorboards of
my chest
creak
when half a year later
you're still in my dreams
they strain
and rasp
I can't last
like this

surrounded

when I perceive
that I am
not enough

I cannot help but think
it's because
I have lived in constant
fear
of being too much

I know that
with your
little fixes
you're always
just trying
to help me get better
but
I am
so much better where
I am

exhausting
every possibility
of how I am
becoming
                 limitless

I won't take one more day
of being dulled down
to your level
Suppressing the rest of
what keeps me from hell
because your fragile grasp of power
is just that tangible

You say I stress on your spine
I know it's just that
my existence
escapes the boundaries
of your mind
when this exasperation
can't escape
when you so refuse all reason
I ache to break
the balmy surface of my skin
(in the end
I cannot win)

I know I owe you
for a life I never got to choose
for all these years
marked by faded bruises
though I love you
you've barely got
respect to lose

How about
we explore
and expose
the underbelly
of our drunken tongues

I want to fall in love
with your ugly
and
forget why
once morning has begun