I could have loved you forever.

it isn't beautiful
not in the same way that you were
with your earth toned sighs
and your heart-wrenching lullabies
not like your summertime sweaters
or the way you waited for dreaming
it isn't beautiful
in the way you wore your sadness
cloaked over your sunken shoulders
oh so lovely
but it is new
and bright
and feels so very alive
it is beautiful like
I may never see your lips shake
and dreaming can wait
because I'm no longer
so heavily pained by day
it is beautiful like
escaping laughter
because happiness
holds no shame

I miss your familiarity
with my silence
your understanding
of my laughter
and your simple way
of letting me know
that I was not alone

sometimes
the right words
don't seem long enough
like the space I have to fill
in this universe
isn't quite the right fit
but I'm far too stubborn to quit
simplistic
my cerebral prescense
is elastic

I kept pretending
That I couldn't remember your name
So determined that you weren't
Worth the time of day
I guess it's a reflection
Of my own sorry self
Such pretentious invention
Of isolation's hell

Your lips were dry
And they pulled me in
Like your kiss was synonymous
With salvation
The gospel truth
Of tasting you
Like I've wanted to
(Ill never admit it)
You kissed my hips,
Pulled my lower back in
I indulge in your sin
Feel your pulse through close skin
I dive into
Your ideals
It's not real as long as
We don't put it into words
And there's no need for
Any language besides that of our bodies
You used to taunt me
Intangible
Then I'm in your hands
Ready to be molded into
Whatever next breath.

Do you remember
The first time we kissed?
It was like I couldn't breathe anything
But the smell of your skin.
You were, are, will be
Every poetic sentiment
That I ever need.
I don't know how to live,
If not with you,
I'm scared shitless
Now that I have to,
But 3,377 miles
Can't stop me from loving you
More than  
All the daisies under the sun
And all the bubbles in the sea
I love you more than lightning storms
And every leaf on every tree
You are the sun, moon and stars
The very air that I breathe.
Distancing myself won't help
Because I had to choke down
An imperfect goodbye
No words in any language
Exist to say what I need
You echo in my existence
Every time I laugh, kiss, cry or bleed
And no physical distance
Changes that first kiss
Or touch, or love.
When I'm lost
Ill remember your lips
That tought me how to miss you
I kissed you goodbye
But nothing near final
Because together
Ill settle for nothing less than forever
Before long you'll be seeing me
I'm scared as hell but
I'm still on my feet
Step by step
Moment by moment
Breath by breath
We will learn
How to be.