Need
Is a strong 4-letter word.
So is love.
Like homophones, those two easily mixed up.
Sometimes those two rhymes.

All my life,
I've been asking "why?"
Questioning things
Yet one answer remains
"So be it"

How funny it is to remember
How a tree lives its life to the fullest
Ended up as a log for me to sit

All of its memories vanish as it is
Like nothing ever happened
Nor ever exist.

The lake of memories
Got its name from its lack of memories
Just a massive crater for water to fill.

The memory-less water
That shaped accordingly to its vessel
Its memory lost as soon as it's transferred.

I wish they have that memory
I wish they realise that their memory lost
That their memories
Did matter.

I wish i didn't have the memory
To remember that memory
will gone eventually
Whether fading out slowly
Or lost instantaneously.

I wish i didn't have that memory
I wish i didn't realise that my memory lost
That my memory
Didn't matter.

Nihilism in cancerous
Mutating uncontrollably
Growing silently

But, with or without cancer
People die anyway
Whether quickly by a bullet
Or slowly by a disease
Or simply, heart choosing to rest.

Death is inevitable
Whether it chose to come suddenly
Or it's been waited patiently.
It will come.

Without caring when and how.
Whether when we're alone,
Or when love was already gone
Or leaving love alone.
It will ends.

Everything will leave,
Everything will gone,
Everything will end.

I've been numb enough for long enough
To realise that i'm trapped in a void.

Like a comatose, my body functions
Yet, i can't speak
Mouth mumbling trying to make a sound
I can't see
Eyes wide shut
I can't feel
Heart beats just because

Like a comatose, i can't escape
So many way out, yet my body resist.
Options exist, yet nothing matters.
Not even matter matters
Not even your matters matter.
It doesn't matter.
It never matter.

I don't know what to say
Because
I don't know if i'm able to
Because
I don't know what to feel
Because
I don't know if i'm able to
Because
I don't know what to know
Because
I don't know if i'm able to
Because
I don't know
Because
I really don't know.

You know what you really want, when you seek for love. Attention, affection, affirmation, etc. You know you'll get it, if you choose to love me. It might sounds like my ego or my narcissistic side. But it might be true.

It might seems like a tinder profile. But here is a list of things you'll get from dating me:

1. When you choose to love me, you'll get a complete package of a drama movie. You'll get joy, sweet words, happiness, and of course, love. But you'll also get tears, anger, disappointment, and it could end up in a broken heart. So you have to be ready.

2. When you choose to love me, you have to be prepared to listen all of my what ifs and dreams. You have to be prepared for living on a prayer because i'm so ******* good at being patient and grateful.

3. When you choose to love me, you'll learn an interesting things about me. But you have to know that i'm the only one who think it's interesting. Others just think it's madness and messed up.

4. When you choose to love me, you have to learn to handle me at my worst. You have to be mature enough to admit that you're sorry. Because i definitely won't be afraid to do so.

5. When you choose to love me, you have to take down my ego. Then, you can easily conquer me.

6. When you choose to love me, you have to be a home.

When you choose to love me, you'll get everything you ever dream of. But baby, let me tell you something. I'm a comfort zone that you really have to be brave to step out of it. I'm a short escape from reality that you always seek. I'm a sweetest dream you'll ever get but **** they were always right about waking up.