To have been in love,
Loved completely,
To have completely lost,
Lost so deeply I couldn’t be found by anyone but myself,
For myself I moved on,
On with the new,
New love came and went
It went by so fast though it feels so fresh,
New to me every day that I don’t feel,
The feeling of an electric shock running through my body when we touch,
Your touch scares me, too familiar, easy to get lost in, but I want it
Good idea, bad idea, I’m not thinking anymore,
Anymore than I should have to,
Too many times I was hurt,
Why think so hard over something like this, when it could just so easily disappear,
I know better now, or do I?
Is it there? The love I once knew.
Me, him, we’re here,
Trying to put the puzzle back together,
Together,
I hear what he’s saying,
Words that make me want to believe,
But believing is hard or though it seems,
When you gave all your love already,
And it wasn’t good enough,
Even when things are going smooth, it’s proven to never be steady.

I have no friends, no real ones at least,
I'm bored, I was counting on you, where'd you go?

I want to scream, pull my hair out, I hate you,
don't touch me, stop flirting, you don't mean it,
you don't like me, no one really does,

I need to move, never staying in the same place, pack up and go, change things up,

I hate not having you,
I'm surrounded by fakes,
tear off the masks,
I stand out, raise my voice,
melting heart, I bury myself,

I need new but I want old,
I need change but I want it to be the same, I've lost you,
I've lost myself, slow, slower, gone,

I don't know where I am,
what I'm doing,
I want simple I get hard,

I don't care what you think,
I'm stronger, look at my face,
there's no tears, I hold it inside,
waiting to burst,

I hate this place, I hate my fake friends,
I hate not having
you,

I don't need sleep, I lye here,
no breath is coming out,
dark eyes staring at the white wall,
where are you?

You said you would call,
and the phone rang.

You said we should hang out,
and we did.

You said I was beautiful,
and you meant it.

You said I was funny,
and you laughed.

You said you you could wait,
and you did.

You said you were here for me,
and you are.

So unexpected you were to me, a blindfold was covering my eyes so that I couldn't see, but now you're with me making me believe, that someone out there could actually love me.

I don't know what it is,
when you come around,
that makes my heart flop upside down,
the mooshy gooshy feeling inside,
I'm weakened defenseless,
ready to hide,
in your arms is a safe place,
I don't want to leave,
or speed up the pace,
sweet, smooth, calm,
what could this be?
The feeling inside of me won't let me leave,
I crumble around you,
accepting every word you say,
the night spent together turns into day,
what could this be?
Maybe love?
      no, not me.......

You were the target I hit with
              the dart,
I didn't like you, I never did,

       I loved you from the start,

The first time it was so hard to move on,
clenching my fists,
I wanted you back,
with me, not without me,
but together we were completely f
                                                               ­       a
                                                        ­                 l
                                                              ­            l
                                                               ­             i
                                                  ­                           n
                                                               ­                g
                                                                                     incomplete
over the years the pieces began to not fit,
I pushed them together,
bit by bit,
but you didn't try hard ENOUGH for us,
because deep down you wanted us to be through,
to take time for yourself, to find out who you really were,
but we couldn't end it as just friends,
and when you found what you were looking for,
I took you back, again and again,
But no matter how hard we try, we keep losing us,
and once again
                   We've fallen
                                       down
                                                   We've sunken
                                                      so low,
we can't get back up,
beacuse a piece of ourselves is missing when we aren't together,
so we grab on to one  another,
                 for strength,
pulling ourselves up,
you make me happy again, but it's a messy cycle,
relationships without a friendship first,
is a sinking ship which is the worst,
it doesn't work because the trust isn't there, why can't you show me in the way that i'd like, that you really do care?
It's a game we play, from you to me,
staring into your eyes,
my anger dissapears as you begin
                                           to smile,
one false aquistion, and lack of communication,
we're off the page again, not knowing what each other said,
pushing me backwards, I fall off the cliff,
you finally shut the door and our lives together is no more,
you,
are all I see,
memories of us,
flashing before me,
I see the bottom coming near,
you wouldn't believe how much love was hidden by fear,
It's clear to me now,
you're my one and only,
IF ONLY,
we could have each other back,
communication is the key to unlock the door,
give it a chance and you will see,
it takes both of us, selfless, to be,
I guess it's too late,
my lack of trust, doubts, and fears,
and your lack of showing you care
this seems like a mistake, but you can't ruin fate,
we can't be together forever
                                                   and
                                                        ever,­
my life is coming to an end,
I hit the ground and scream,
waking up, I realize, it was just a dream,
          I grab on to you,
to never let go, admit my mistakes, and prove I have room to grow,
I don't want it to end, I'm done playing pretend,
I'm sorry,
it's what I've been needing to say,
today is a new day,
I don't want anyone else,
you do complete me in so many ways,
yes we have different interests with different lives,
different hopes and different dreams,
but what it's really about is being on the same team,
To be in life together, to support one another,
knowing what each others likes are,
the kinds of thoughts and gestures that go so far,
doing things because it would mean the world to you,
is what we should both strive to do.

I don't know where we go from here,
too many ups and downs to remember what's real,
But I do remember I was once completely in love, I want to be that girl again,
swept off her feet, with a simple hello,
let's create new thoughts,
opened book, page so blank and bare,
I know you really do care,
but i can't do it on my own,
we both need to GIVE to have a relationship again,
even if it is just a friendship with nothing more, without you in my life my heart stays sore, I want to be there for you through the ups and the downs, even as just friends I'll support you through the smile and frowns,
because i know what we had was special and it will always be,
the thought in my mind of one day you and me,
if it doesn't work out I will understand, but at least you'll be there as a friend to hold my hand,
I've loved you from the start,
it's your turn to choose,
look in your hand,
you have the dart.

With each passing day,
it gets harder and harder,
the words I should have said,
play in my head over and over,
like a tape recorder,
when will I wake up to realize you're not here,
the opportunity passed me by,
while I ran to hide,
regret is the liquid filling my lunges,
it gets harder to breathe,
I threw away the key,
it's my fault I'm not free,
Still I sit here and wait,
for the words,
you and I,
the days pass me by flying so fast,
I don't even have time to cry,
even if I did,
the tears run dry,
I'm sorry for all of this,
my mistake,
my lie,
I should have just told you,
my love,
for you I would die.....

Go ahead and SLAM the door,
I'm use to the yelling and the broken glass on the
                                                             ­                                        floor,
you say you're sorry,
SO,
everyone else I love leaves,
they don't say bye they just GO,

What makes you think I care anyways?
             I'm better off without you dad,
                         you just made mom mad,
                                                     and me sad,
is this what you wanted, are you glad?

I remember when you use to read me stories,
well, once upon a time...
I loved you,
what happened, you walked out,
couldn't handle the yelling,
you left us to deal with the pain,
our relationship will never be the same,

When somethings broken,
it won't mend,
this family is over,
THE END

                        I hate you for this why,
                         you made all of us cry,
you left without even one goodbye,
                                  all because of a lie,

I want it to go back to normal but it won't,
it's just not the same in a sinking boat!