Sitting in a restaurant in cottage country.
with my parents, my friend,my sister and her two friends.
I'm eating these miniature boneless chicken wings
I feel a pain in my chest,
I take a sip of my ice tea through a straw
And sit there holding my chest and closing my eyes
--
In my head is a jack hammer just pounding
My whole body feels pinned down
but also moving like the jack hammer
--
Laying on the ground I see my father leaning over top of me
I am on my back
He is pinning me down
My vision blacking out and head still pounding
"Call 911, she's having a seizure"

The only thing I can manage to say is "no"
"no. No! no! NO! No? NO... no no nonono...."
And the only thing I could think of was 'I don'y want to be a seizure person'
Epileptic is what i meant to say, but the word didn't come to me.
Tears are rushing down my face, terrified.
I can only hope this is a one time thing.

As I am helped up by my mom and escorted to the bathroom
I see all these faces looking at me
Faces of sympathy
That is the worst feeling ever.
Being stared as you are leaving the room after a seizure

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I kinda really
Really miss you

I’m my own assassin.
Whether it’s rereading texts that I know destroy me, or purposely looking through social media that I know will negatively affect me.
I don’t know why I enjoy making myself suffer.

British wield guns.
Americans threw snowballs.
Five dead.

I have troubles sleeping
Mainly because I want to cuddle
I just want some one to hug
Or be hugged as I fall asleep
I just want to be cuddled to sleep
Is that to much to ask for?

The friend with a pool
No friends ever comes over
I'm too far away

We have been talking for over 2 months
I saw your face in a friend's instagram picture
I made a joke and asked my friend for your number
He asked you if it was okay to give me you number
You said yes
I got really excited, and I sent you a message

I liked you from the start
We messaged happily for over 2 weeks
You called me "bae" and "babe" and "boo"
All of a sudden you didn't talk to me for a whole week
You said sorry and that you had you phone taken away
But I still don't think that's the case

Two months later
Were still texting daily
I'm usually the last to message at night
And in the mornings, I get a "morning babe:*"
You told me that you actually really like me
I told you the feeling was mutual

We made tentative plans for Friday night
You called for a rain check Thursday morning
Friday it really rained, in February
Good Call!
I would've been to nervous anyways
We still haven't met each other
I haven't even heard you voice on the phone