A little black square,
Jumping out of
The blank and white page.
Bleeding ink,
Oozing traces
Of what's beneath.
A little black square,
Jumping on,
The blank and white stage.
Spewing pink,
Glop.
Seeping slop.
Spitting out words,
In chaos,
Disorder.
And then it's gone.
The paper has soaked it all.
Back in,
Again under,
Beneath the surface.
Of my world.

I see me,
Walking,
Down the street,
Looking utterly, foolishly, obtusely, insanely, ridiculously,
Happy.
I'm eight.
After that,
I broke my pate,
I gained my freight,
I found my hate.

Dawn is outside my window,
Behind my walls.
And I am here, inside,
Restless,
Sleepless,
Dreading dawn.

God is calling me.
Whispering in my ear.
My darling, my dear.
Come to me.
I want you here.
God is calling me.
He wants me near,
But I can't hear him,
I can't hear.

Obsessed, obsesssseeeddd, bsessed, obse,
Ssed, sessed, sobessed, bosessed.
My mind is a circuit,
It's skittish and wound.
I'm diving downwards,
Hitting the ground.
I'm soaring high,
Touching the sun.
One thought, one thought, one thought,
one!
My mind is swelling from one thought.
All else is gone.
Thought is forming into a clot,
Paralyzing, can't move on.
Can't go back,
Can't stop one thought.
Obsessed, all that's left is a shot
To the head,
Remove the clot,
My head as well,
As a result.
Never mind,
Not much inside,
Only one thought,
One thought,
One thought,
Rewinds.

Up, up rising,
Hindering my air.
Flooding my eyes,
Extinguishing my flare.
Sailine beads, dripping out,
Brimful of pain,
Of anger and hate,
Resentment, regret and disdain.
I thought that I was over her,
I was wrong.

My head is spinning round and round.
I lost my rubber, rubber band.
It's white.
It's small.
Was here right
Now! It's gone,
And with it my phone
Is not tied neatly,
And with it my mind,
Is not together completely.
However will I keep my sanity at hand,
Without my rubber, rubber band!