I'm feeling drowsy
Not really tired
Just feeling lousy
Not quite wired

Don't want to die
Can't really live
Don't wanna lie
Can't quite forgive

Time moves too fast
Heartbeats too slow
Time leaves us last
Heartbeats must go

I can't do this
Neither can you
What to do
What to do

What a simple question
With such a complicated answer
I'll try to sum it up
Without too much banter
Have you ever just bled
In order to feel alive
Have you ever seen the darkness
And still taken a dive
Have you ever peeled your skin off
And worn it inside out
Have you ever asked a question
Just to cover up your doubt
Have you ever sold your soul
Just so it was free
I write because without it
I just wouldn't be me

Hey
It's been a minute since we've talked
I know we just had a conversation
but I mean since we really talked
I know life really ***** right now
and I know that you're scared
trust me I know
but I want you to know that I really care about you
These past couple weeks have been really hard for me
because I've had an epiphany
I think I might love you
Not because of how you look
or how you dress
or even for your humor
though all of those things are astonishing
they aren't as important as this
I thought I loved someone else
and I might
but the more we talk
and the more unstable you grew
with your mom being sick and all
I realized how scared I was to lose you
The more I thought about it
I would lose everyone else
to keep you safe
I know you have a girlfriend
and She loves you so much
so much more than you even know
and you really love her too
I think that's amazing
she's amazing
She's so kind, So beautiful, so encouraging
She's my friend
and I don't want to hurt her
or you
but I think
I might love you too
I know you'll never read this
and I know I could never tell you this
but it helps to get it out
I'm in class right now
I wish I wasn't
I can't focus on my work when I'm worried about you
I want to leave
I want to hold you
Let you cry
Let you talk about your mom
Or even Just let you sit in silence
I want to help
that would help me

Congratulations
You passed the test
Now I know exactly
what move to make next

i'm a writer by nature
but that doesn't always mean my head's in the clouds
it means my mind steals bits of reality
pieces of people
and lines from others
i forget my place and
try to act as the main character
to create experiences
but wallflowers
are the best writers of all

forget me
not
love me
i want you to
but
you don't

I wonder if you have a playlist dedicated to the way I make you feel
*** oh boy
oh honey
there's enough to last a lifetime where I come from