why do I always ask myself
is this
the most ..cked up
I ve ever been
when I m too ..ucked up to know?

(hey, maybe I m not fcked up??
maybe this is the way humans feel
all the time
maybe this normal and everyone else
is fcked up!)

(lost the thought, what was I thinking, anyway? aaAAH,)

why do I always ask myself
is this...???

she had a wicked kind of motion,
a cold beauty
with the radiance of a sunset dying.

Jack had seen her,
had seen her walking
the sidewalks and streets
that are too dark for dreaming,

the acne scars on her cheeks
had left faded marks,
with her wolf spirit longing
to be unchained.

the sudden rain drumming on the roof of the car.

and Jack was no stranger to sad streets,
the sidewalks and tenement caves,
strangers in a crowd laughing.

his sad eyes, two black eyes,
another fight,
he looked like a raccoon.

he came around the car
as she knew he would,
took her in his arms,
kissed her and when he withdrew
from the kiss
she felt his warm breath.

Melissa was from Montana,
had left her husband.

just one more nightmare to try
and understand
and so Jack didn't want to know, why,
He didn't ask

and she is the one women
that never took the smile
from his face
and some loves forever to ring true.

2 souls in the fire.
one heart.

I rollover on the bed
face the wall
stare at the lines and cracks.

I give the wall a talking to,
tell me lies. I'll tell you my lies.

and i'm telling the wall,
the future looks bright. i'm planning
my own crazy, this time,

i use a black magic marker,
draw a wide rectangular
picture window across the white wall, then

sand, seashore, and sea stacks in the ocean.
can you smell the salt air?
i'm asking my wall.

don't look at me cracks,
like that.

the wall sighs,
and the bones of this old building
reply with a moan.

i'm inventing my own madness, so

look,
the sand pipers
are darting here and there
across the sand
avoiding the gentle lapping of the waves.

and the long wing shearwaters
flying low, gliding,
just barely above the tips of waves.

i'm planning my own foolishness.

some loves last for so long
like a song without a name
and you never know
when love will walk into a heart

and I'm going to run
far away
from sidewalk ledges
rooms with cracks in the wall,
far away from here.

and, Oh, wall, hang not the albatross around my neck.

a tribute to  Dave Roskos, poet.

at the Poet Wednesday
a long, long time back
in Woodbridge, I heard
the poet, Dave Roskos,
and the one line that rings so true,
a bittersweet, one word, symphonic waltz
the one line i 'll take to my grave.

"2 flies ******* on my coffee cup."


BEAUTIFUL, Dave Roskos, poet.

little leaf, reaches for the sky.

rides the wind, hugs the sun.

dreams with a voice of love,

only knows love.

delights in simple joys.

little leaf, dreams of an ice cream cone.

(a child at play in the park.)

the church bells,
the church bells,

the church bells are ringing.

the angels are singing
the sad refrain of the dreams
of us moths into the flame

that leave us grieving of the ringing
of bells.

the church bells,
the church bells,
heavens and hells,

a spirituous mist
has brought us to our leave

with the summoning ring of the bell
falling silent.