Too many times
And all at once
I fell silent
Fearing solitude
In honesty
And honestly,
It feels all too normal now

Normally,
I'm not anxious at all when it comes to these kinds of things
But I'm choking now
Fixated on staying afloat
My neck has gone numb and my eyes are wax
I remember her eyes when I was young
And my bones settle in time
I am a noxious trap for meddling thoughts
Justifying chronic limerence
Broken are the dreams I once knew
A seemingly solid idea, forgotten


Suffocating in these walls that I thought up
I caught a whiff of you, and it pangs me

How close I came to falling in
You were a vacancy of solitude
I was mute
But I rolled the windows down
to gasp in sky
Piercing
Bringing me back home
Your face faded back through
an obliterated void and

He came to me in running water
and led me to benches of stone.

Now every shining time
he's beside me
Drinking essence from the clouds
I am a rock-hopper
Filling my frame with so much time
because

He came to me in running water
and led me to benches of stone.

But, some days thoughts of calming
Cavernous caves of purple - blue slip back though
the net I've weaved from his fingertips
You force your gaze into my
Glazed unconscious
I turn away

Because he came to me in falling leaves
and brushed my whims to foreign trees
where his face lingered admiringly.

Then you came to me in flicking flames
and led me to a brimstone cave
and now I'm alone
in my Sickness.

Beam at me
Baby blue
My bitter moon
So far away
Your golden truth

All too easy to please me
Bring me to my knees
Until euphoria is all expelled
And I'm left bereft of reason

In too deep
Navy blue
Echo-less room
Bury all poise
In this sunken tomb

Drag me back down under
the sheets and leave me
To succumb to my delusion
It befits this physical pain

Is this love?
This bleak, black doom
That makes its way
Into my veins
When I am destitute

Implicit and distant
I should cope
On my own
But all alone
I only suffer visions of
The ways I might still try to die