the girl who never had it all felt numb every sunday evening
because another week had passed and she still wasn’t living
a clockwork routine of staccato
detached from reality
the build up is beautiful
but when you only give half of your heart the ****** is just another week gone
a monday meltdown of never finding your place
touch starvation

writing poetry gets harder everyday
when you’re living your own story how do you put it into words?
describe the moon glow in a phrase
i can’t articulate what it feels like to live and not just survive

crush me and complain about the pressure
use me and learn your worth
take every piece of me like it’s free soul
you finally know what it’s like to burn
the energy you give will be returned
and you’ll find yourself numb

you never found a way to drive away your loneliness
you just found a new way to talk to it
learn the warmth of stolen liquor on an empty stomach
memorize the burn of a long drag from a 2 dollar pack of cigarettes
this is your god
pray that tomorrow you won’t feel
the stand still life is still too fast

watching my belt shrink around me and my pants not fit makes me experience euphoria in a way that shouldn't exist

40 pounds in 4 months

melting

peers promote me and tell me i carry myself in a lighter way

my cheekbones wave at the mirror as i count the calories in every nutrient my body needs

i go to sleep and pray i can fit the number of things i've consumed on one hand

a liquid diet of watered down feelings

my fatality is fluid

this could **** me and i encourage it

i equate my happiness to the bones visible under my skin

smaller and smaller until i'm nothing
do i want to be nothing?