5/7

Fear runs deep when I feel too much

You say your intellect affords you insight and such

Then why push when I need someone to pull

Like all the rest full of bull

Trusting my instincts is all I can do

I fear good people they are far and few

I sense avoidance and that is just fine

My gifts may deceive me but they are mine

When I say I'm out it's because I know no other way

No one takes the time to make one seemingly out to play

5/7/2017

I want to breathe
I want to thrive
I want to feel alive

The time I spent not wasted
I learned a lot for not

I want to laugh
I want to smile
I want to all the time

I want to feel included
Not fretting on the sidelines

I want to comfort
I want to advise
I want to compromise

Not only where you're comfortable
Where you don't have to lie

1/29/2017

Everytime I think about my life
With you it's always the same
I cannot be a parent
I cannot have a say

Everytime I think about my life
With you it's always the same
There is no us she ruined you
The real you never became

Everytime I think about my life
With you it's always the same
I'm sad you never knew me
So you could get out of the rain

Everytime I think about my life
I realize there's only his and hers
There never was an ours to live
You don't even trust what's his

1/28/2017

Sorted thoughts compartmentalized
Hues of deceit
Are you truly happy like that
Remaining in that phase
I myself outgrew it in my twenties
Loathing creates collateral damage
You will see as time will tell
Now or later it will swell

October 19, 2014

Thank you really, honestly
For entrusting parental duties to me
Your refusal except at those times
When you think you fool others eyes

The picture you pretend to paint
Fools nobody like you think
It makes me laugh inside that your actions actually flatter me

October 20, 2014

Will you join me in this renovation
The one that fulfills our souls
The one God intended
I can feel that he knows

Building separately has yet to work
A sign we should have seen
Giving in is pride demolished
The devil brought to his knees

Attending church and counseling
In and of itself wasn't enough
Bare souls a necessity like
Standing trusting on a bluff

Vulnerable to one another
Dedicated to a higher power
All defenses down
Fear enough to make us cower

Easy is as easy does
Hard work yields bounty
Tomorrow hand-in-hand
Let's together up the ante

A season of tomorrows
Together in all the splendor
The one we failed to believe in
Worth it and oh so tender

Tender beauty
Tender hearts
Feeling like we see our parents
Together forever, never apart

April 16, 2014

Over a decade ago
Yet seems so recent
My love he took his life

I remember it well
The 4 months I felt
A gaping hole exist from strife

How time has passed
Yet the memory vivid
Cutting me like a knife

What I should have said
And done instead
And how I should have sacrificed.

Another life is gone too soon
She left others behind as well
Could it have been prevented
Makes me sad as hell

How do we continue to lose people
Who choose death by self
Are we really such poor listeners
Will I be one someday myself

Open your eyes and your ears
Your arms when we cry in fear
Don't turn your back to the crying
Lest eternally you'll hear it crystal clear

Make time for the hurting
No one should ever feel that lonely
Worse is loneliness among others
Going unnoticed dying slowly

A small smile, a hello
It's going to be alright
Tomorrow's another day
Let's make plans when the sun is bright

We all want to have hope
Why not share the little you've got
Placed in the pool of others
Amazing what you'll get back

April 16, 2014