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Graced Lightning May 2014
There's something I've been meaning to tell you
and I'm sorry
it took me so long to find the right words.

Because

My darling,
not even the stars in the sky
can compare with your beauty.
716 · Oct 2014
Chronological (reprise)
Graced Lightning Oct 2014
It is 9:23 AM, February 18
I should be doing my homework.
Instead I'm writing poetry, wearing your sweatshirt.
It shouldn't smell like you. It should smell like dryer sheets.
It smells like mint. It smells earthy, like tea and coffee and
nutmeg and all the other
smells that I've come to associate with you.

It is 9:04 AM and two teachers come walking through the door. I could kiss you, but instead my head is on your shoulder and your head is on my head and our right hands intertwined and your left hand
is in my hair and your lips are against my head whispering
'i love you, grace'
and so I whisper it back, my lips barely moving because
it doesn't take much effort to love you
so it shouldn't take effort to tell you.

It is 8:50 AM and you tell me to lean on your shoulder. At first you're tense and unsure, but then you let yourself relax into me.

It is 8:45 and I walk towards you in the hallway. You turn me around and whisper that we should go where no one will find us.

It is 9:30 and I'm still wearing your sweatshirt and I could've gotten things done but I'm so lovestruck that all I can do is write run-on sentences that refuse to turn into prose.

It is 9:31 and I'm really bad at endings, so let's just never say goodbye.

But now it's 11:11, October 30.
8 months later.
I haven't worn your sweatshirts in months and
we haven't spoken since July.
today is the day I start to regret
wasting all my wishes on you
I wrote this months ago about a boy who I'm not in love with anymore. You can see the original if you scroll down a bit
Graced Lightning Mar 2014
It used to be that I was always shivering
my pale skin not keeping the cold out of my bones
but
my entire body heats up
whenever you touch me
and I really like
that my temperature always seems to be rising
when you're around
Graced Lightning Oct 2014
It is 9:23 AM, February 18
I should be doing my homework.
Instead I'm writing poetry, wearing your sweatshirt.
It shouldn't smell like you. It should smell like dryer sheets.
It smells like mint. It smells earthy, like tea and coffee and
nutmeg and
you.

It is 9:04 AM, March 3
and your lips are against my head whispering
'i love you, grace'
and so I whisper it back, my lips barely moving because
it doesn't take much effort to love you
so it shouldn't take effort to tell you.

It is 2:30 PM, June 6.
You open the door and your little sister screams because my hair is bright blue and neither one of you were expecting it. Your older sisters give me a nod of approval and so I take your hand and skip to the 1997 Ford Explorer that will belong to me in 1 year + 6 months + 4 days.

It is 6:45, June 7.
I give you your birthday present. It is a CD of all the songs I sing in the shower when I miss you. All the songs that could have been about us. All the songs that I love and you don't know yet. You take your sweatshirt back. You don't kiss me.

It is June 28
and I'm home, baby! I'm home!
You're too busy to see me.
You say you wish you could but
what's the truth?

It is 9:30 AM, February 18
and I'm still wearing your sweatshirt and I could've gotten things done but I'm so lovestruck that all I can do is write run-on sentences that refuse to turn into poetry.

It is 9:31, February 18
and I'm awful at endings.
if we never say goodbye
I'll never have to
write an end to one of these
godforsaken poems

It is 11:11, October 30.
8 months later.
I haven't worn your sweatshirts in weeks and
we haven't spoken since July.
I say a silent prayer and realize
today is the day I start to regret
wasting all my wishes on you
for english class- an assignment on memory
667 · Jan 2015
She
Graced Lightning Jan 2015
She
I’m all sharp edges and she’s contours
hills, valleys
soft skin on loud bones

She’s turning me soft but
she says she likes me better that way.
she doesn’t want ribcages, thigh gaps, logic
she wants feelings, hushed whispers, curves

she’s slowly teaching me that skinny girls are
nice to look at but they can’t hold on when you push them away
.
She refuses to realize that sometimes
some things are better left unsaid
.
I am afraid and she’s warm and
i’m shivering inside and out.
i’m bruising, perfect shades of purple
my neck and my knuckles and my heart

i don’t even know what i wanted but it’s
too late now she’s
breaking me.

i always wanted to be in love
but not like this.
i've done a lot of revising here but obviously this still needs tons of work
666 · Mar 2014
3/1/14
Graced Lightning Mar 2014
You hesitantly sit on the edge of your bed
and slowly lean back
as I fall on top of you
and we are kissing again.
You taste warm, like coffee
on a cold monday morning.
I bring my leg up
so that we're intertwined.
I pull away and bury my face into your shoulder.
You bring your hand up and gently caress my face
I wish it didn't have to end.

But it doesn't.

You tell me to lean up against the wall
and I lift the hem of my shirt for you
your hands slide right in
and their warmth on my back
is exactly what I need.
659 · Feb 2014
2/22/14
Graced Lightning Feb 2014
My lips have touched
countless other things
since touching yours
only this afternoon.
Every time they touch something new
I go back to the moment
My hands in your hair
my body going insane.
Every inch of me
needing to touch you.
Your hands on my back,
pulling me closer.
Bending over backwards
in the most literal sense of the term
just to be close to you
and
all I can think about
is when we'll do it again
655 · Oct 2014
The Universal Race
Graced Lightning Oct 2014
I was always told that I was star potential. If only people could see what I have bottled up inside of me, I could be famous. I'd be world renowned. I'd be a star. But I was his whole galaxy and now that he's gone, I don't feel like a star. To go from a universe to a star is so abrupt. One day you're someone's everything and the next you're no one's anything. I want to be a galaxy again. I wish someone could see stars in my eyes and taste cosmic dust on my tongue. To see a universe in a single person. I wish I could know what it's like. To look at someone and see everything, right there. But I know that everyone is someone's everything. Every person is someone's universe. Their planets, their sun, their moon, their stars. I am my own universe. I am the sun, the moon, the stars, the comets, the asteroids, the dust of what is to be. I am the future, the present, the past. I am my own everything. So I'll wait. I won't settle for someone who doesn't make the world turn, who doesn't have stars in their eyes, whose tongue doesn't taste like the cosmos. I'm waiting for my other galaxy ☾ ☼  ☆

**♛all the powers in the universe are already mine. I just can't see them♛
Graced Lightning Jan 2015
you taste better than whiskey ever has and i'm not even sure why
like dehydration and sweat and 3 AM
your breath is hot on my neck and your hands are tangled in the hair
that you cut last weekend
suddenly the sun is coming up and your nose is still
touching mine and you're still smiling like a fool
and i've still got my eyes open
i couldn't look away for even one second
it's noon now-
where did the time go?
your teeth are on my neck and i'm clawing at your back
five o' clock, your legs are wrapped around me
my neck is turning purple
still without a care in this world
we're eating ice cream and holding hands,
wondering how this life could be so nice
641 · Mar 2014
3/3/14
Graced Lightning Mar 2014
You slowly sink into my arms
and we are finally comfortable.
I absentmindedly play with your hair
and run my finger along the edge of your ear.
I kiss your forehead, and you kiss my lips.
You hold my hands and
our tongues get to know each other
more forcefully than ever before.
You start to play with my hair
and you pull me towards you
so that our lips meet again.
And then we are alone.
We struggle to be comfortable,
but then
I lie down on the couch
with my head on the armrest
and you slowly let yourself
lie on top of me.
You kiss me sweetly
and I tug on the hem of my shirt
to let your hands in.
They slide up my back
and I pull away.
you can do whatever you want
I whisper
are you sure?
yes
and so you take your hands
and let them wander to the other side.
You take your time,
but eventually you get there.
You hesitate
but I haven't changed my mind.
I can't focus on what your hands are doing
because I feel like I'm going to explode
I am a puppet.
I arch my back,
invisible strings pulling my hips to meet yours.
feedback? I don't know how to end this
607 · Mar 2014
Untitled #3
Graced Lightning Mar 2014
You hardly ever say
I love you
instead of
I love you too
603 · Dec 2014
Inferno
Graced Lightning Dec 2014
all my life I’ve been burning things to the ground
I left my marshmallow over the flame too long
forgot the popcorn in the microwave last night
too many friendships have gone up in smoke because
I had too much oxygen in my heart

I learned yesterday that abracadabra means
“I create as I speak”

I was never afraid of fire.
three years old, I held my hands
close to the flames and cried
"Daddy, Daddy, it's magic!"
and to this day,
I often wonder if
I might be magic, too

I never believed in magic until I met her

she taught me that I am wildfire.
beautiful from a distance
but if you get too close, I might burn you
not to worry-
wildfire brings new life
I promise I’ll help you begin again.

you try to breathe fire, but you are not the magician here

you attempt to extinguish me
you throw water on my flames but
underneath the blackened exterior is
a still-burning ember
full of white-hot anger
I have been ablaze for too long
to be put out

and now, I pull the rabbit out of the hat.

illusion is key to telling the perfect lie
smoke and mirrors turn your gaze the other way
while I turn you to ashes
a magician’s final trick.
hello yes I revised the **** out of this
601 · Oct 2015
call this a poem (or don't)
Graced Lightning Oct 2015
i almost told you this wasn’t poetry
in my defense, it isn’t pretty
the gory bits of humanity never are.
but people in and of themselves are poems
so here’s myself for you;
call it poetry if it makes you feel better

loving you was the sound of a piano
and now when I tickle the ivories all I see is
you, laughing on the bench next to me
let’s sing together again someday,
okay,
?

i still love you,
but the misery in it is behind me.
it’s no longer tainted with your presence and
your kiss and your voice.
loving you is somehow easier
knowing you’ll never pay me back in kind.

i need you to play for me again.
take out your ukulele;
let’s cheers to hickies, sunshine and nirvana
maybe pretend we could
love each other again someday

i told you this wasn’t pretty but i guess
you could call it a poem because this is myself on paper
i told you i’d try to see the world in poetry but i guess
here I am making good on that.
visit me sometime, okay?
i’ll be tuning the piano.
Graced Lightning Jan 2015
There's something magical about the way
the ***** New York City streets look
when it's been raining and it's still cloudy.
Headlights shine on the pavement
and if you look up for a moment,
you can see the skyscrapers disappear into the clouds.
City streets look so dull in the sunlight.
Dust swirling in the air.
But just before dark, when it's rained
at 5 in the afternoon
the streets are shiny and little girls jump in the puddles
cars drive slow
and women are holding up umbrellas
still slick with water droplets

And when it's late November
Christmas lights shining everywhere
and mugs of hot cocoa warm throats and hands and stomachs
and music plays softly at the edge of your conscience
snow falls gently from the low hanging clouds
a snowflake lands on her wool coat and
she turns around and you both stop because
suddenly everything is
so much more beautiful than either of you expected.
543 · Jun 2014
At a loss for words
Graced Lightning Jun 2014
I've always had a way with words.
But you make me
speechless
508 · Oct 2014
not a poem
Graced Lightning Oct 2014
anything can
look like poetry if
you hit the enter button
a lot
491 · Sep 2014
Reflections
Graced Lightning Sep 2014
The mirror is my worst enemy.
445 · Sep 2014
what you taught me #1
Graced Lightning Sep 2014
I thought I knew you as well as I knew myself.

but I guess I don't know either of us.
409 · Oct 2014
a song I'm working on
Graced Lightning Oct 2014
My hands are made of paper/
my heart is made of stone/
but even so, deep down I know/
I don't want to be alone

material soul, material soul/
sand out my edges/
I'm feeling alone
material soul, material soul/
my body is made of/
silver and gold
i've been working on this for a while and this is the only part that's set in stone. what do you think?

— The End —