God I can't do it. I can not save myself. But I can't give up on my own. Helpless in existence, Too weak Always longing. I can't even give up because, selfishly, I want there to be more. I'm ridiculous. Please save me.
You asked me today how I'm doing. I lied of course, as is expected. But only a little lie, because "ok" is not the good you are looking for. If only I could tell you the truth.
Why do I feel like this? Smashing my head against a wall again again again. It just doesn't make sense to be so frustrated with something I can't describe.