Come with me
Here
Take my hand
I offer it willingly
With love in my heart
And eyes wide open
Our journey won't be easy
The road is long
And difficult at times
Will you?
Won't you come along?
We may have mountains to climb
Rocky and tall
I will push you ahead of me
If I need
But we will peak them
And stand at the top
With breath frosted over and
Arms wide open to the
Glorious sunrise as our reward
Will you?
Won't you come along?
Bring your strong shoulders
You may have to carry me
When I grow weak
And forget our destination
When the thorns in the path
Even those we strew ourselves
Rip at my ankles
And trip me
Bandage my wounds with your
Kind words
And I'll be okay
Will you?
Won't you come along?
The nights will be long and dark
Cold
But I will keep you warm
With a fire I've been building for eternity
The one that was kindled from
Beyond this veil
We will wrap our arms around ourselves
Hold tight to the truths we know
And keep our eyes on the horizon

So I ask you now
Will you,
Won't you come along?

fire and ice
burning
scorching
but leaving me
cold and
miserable
that is your modus operandi
i am a victim you
can mark on your wall
a tally
one more trophy
for you to collect
enjoy me
this pain might give
you
a small measure of peace
and i'll accept that
because i don't know
how else to survive

pain in my chest
no not that kind
i hurt
physically
yes
but deeper
and more to the right
yes there
feel it?
my heart beats a little slower
the cracks are slowing it down
i thought they were sealed up
didn't you?
i thought they were mended
i suppose i was wrong
this pain is self inflicted
a deeper sting
i could take a slap in the face
a bullet to the back
or a knife across my throat
but this?
not this
not this
when the pain is of my own doing
it causes jagged scars
and deep deep wounds
wounds that take ages to heal
if they heal at all
but i will take it
i'll hold onto this pain
as a reminder of all the ways
i have hurt myself
and you
and everyone i love

stupid
blind
thoughtless
selfish
impatient
and hard to love
toxic
tattoo them on my skin
across my eyelids
and underneath my fingernails
so i won't forget
what a monster i am

uncertainty colors my thinking
like sand in water
floating around my subconscious
and making my thoughts turn
muddy and dark
i'll fight it tonight
in sleep
and in the morning
maybe
things will be alright

i'm sorry
the words are stuck in my throat
because you have no way to hear them
this is typical
just like me
****** up brain
thinking of nothing but myself
selfish
thoughtless
i'm sorry
i will pound against the walls
until my fists are ******
and my voice is raw
but i'll continue saying it
because one day
i need to learn my lesson

and just like that my mind calms
like the storm has passed and
suddenly
i can see the horizon
come hell or high water
i will make it
my body is strong
my mind is stronger
with the rough seas come
the most beautiful sunrises
and mine is just ahead
cotton candy skies
followed by cloudless blue and
calm waters
now i can take the helm
with confidence
that i will make it to my
destination