it has made my skin
into paper
my cheeks dry and hollow
my skeleton visible for all
who dare look
my lips are chapped and raw
i ache in every joint
every bone
every cell
each nerve ending is raw and sensitive
it has made my head ache
and my womb become barren
my skin is velvety soft with the hair
it has grown to protect it from the cold
and i shiver
constantly i shiver
until my teeth and jaw ache
and i feel i will never be warm again

you think your actions have no effect on me;
well you have never been more wrong
you may not want to be a part of my life
but you are toying with my heart
and my feelings
and i cannot forgive that

at what point will i stop being hurt
by people
who have no place in my life?

i shiver
my body shakes
with the ice that has
filled my veins
it's cold
very cold
this self doubt
and insecurity
i would be better off
exposed to the elements
the ones that howl and
shake and ice
everything over
than the ones inside my
chest and stomach
that chill me from the
inside out

my fingers are seared
singed
i'm playing with fire
walking right on the edge
of pleasure and pain
i don't know if i want
to stop
but i know i probably should
heaven help me
because i want so much
to let this burn me up
leave me feverish
and flushed
slick with sweat
and thirsty
for more
of the exquisite torture
i'm entertaining

just when i had resigned myself to
loneliness
into my life you fell
loving me without question
lighting up my whole world
you opened the door to my heart
and walked inside
never looking back

when i felt weak
encouragement spilled from your lips
never did i fear
the darkness of my future
for you taught me well

carefully carefully you
always held my heart
listening and teaching me
validating me
in time i became strong enough that
nothing could stop me