Fire and Ice

Intense sapphire eyes
Platinum hair
Cheeks like razor blades
Cold icy veins

With his wild flame like hair
And come to bed eyes
He is blinded by her beauty
And  consumed with carnal desire

As the golden sun burns
Sparks ignite
Flames  of passion
Rage into the night

Diamond stars stud the charcoal sky
And the lovers bathe in the moon’s milky glow
There is a flicker of love
As the embers glow

Copyright Anne Deborah Morgan
August 2009

August 4th, 1992
That night
My heart began beating
To the rhythm of
Two words
Samantha Shea
My baby girl
She was 9 pound 6 ounces
Of pure love and joy

Her mother’s eyes
My ears
But her smile
Was all her own
She seemed almost wise
Just staring blankly back
At me
Like she knew me
Better than I knew myself
I have never loved anyone
So much

I tried to give her all I could
Make her feel like a real princess
Make her feel safe
And loved
She grew up with things
Her mother and I
Only dreamed of as children
But she was never selfish
Never unkind

I never knew
How much she hated herself
Until I noticed that her arms
Made her look like war veteran
And her eyes
Like those of a ghost
A lost soul wandering around
Lost and Suffering

Could it be that hard
To be a teenage girl
Could it be that hard
To have everything
Handed to you
Everyone love you

That night I saw her as
Nothing but selfish and unkind
I mean how could she do this to us
To herself
I looked her in the eyes and asked
Why
With a single tear running down her face
Resembling a winter’s first snowflake
Or a desert’s first raindrop
She let out the words
“I wasn’t meant for this world”
No you were meant for me
You are my world

I wanted to wipe her tears
And heal her scars
Her years of fear and self-loathing
Was no match for my love
My compassion
My understanding

I spent the next two weeks
Helpless, lost, and confused
By the time we had found her
The bath water was as cold as my heart
The floor stained with drops of
Complete sadness
No note
I cried until I was
Red in my face and
Blue in my heart

A parent should never
Have to bury their child
So we had her cremated
We figured that
She spent 16 years
Stuck in her own box
She shouldn’t have to be
Buried in one

I’ve never loved anyone
So much

The entitlement to peoples own,
I wanna hold,
And squeeze, 
And watch you breathe, 
Im craving you, 
A kiss left untouched, 
I'm needing you, 
I'm not to be used, 
I'll wait my due, 
and maybe it's past,

Donne, the delight of Phoebus and each Muse
Who, to thy one, all other brains refuse;
Whose every work of thy most early wit
Came forth example, and remains so yet;
Longer a-knowing than most wits do live;
And which no affection praise enough can give!
To it, thy language, letters, arts, best life,
Which might with half mankind maintain a strife.
All which I meant to praise, and yet I would;
But leave, because I cannot as I should!

delaying
until the time is perfect
its not worth investing now
until all is Done up right

stalling
because the Task is too Large
I need to make sure I grasp
all that IT entails

Time
skipping around me, mocking
as I lay here waiting
while my skin turns to dust

silence
yet my mind's still entertaining
options that keep appearing
as Ladders lacking rungs

uncertain
to Which do I Commit
for once my name is Signed
I cannot look back

rumbling
my stomach is caught in the middle
there's a tug of war in my head
And I look away Again

emptiness
until I choose to decide
the path that only becomes clearer
as it moves further away

heavy
the feeling on my chest
as I close my eyes and ponder
Where do I go from here

bursting
this dam inside me Rocking
irresolution tears the fabric
of my responsibility

Conviction
the key that halts the turmoil
as the dust around me settles
and I Rise unchained, Free

I wish , i wish that I could fly
Up in a rainbow coloured sky

Where no problem or contempt I'd find
Only relaxation peace of mind

Where everything
Felt like heavenly bliss
I wish there was a place like this