Why, hello there.

I don't know what you're looking for.
But it isn't here.

This is the internet. Specifically,
a corner of the internet containing "poetry" by a 17 year old dude.

Go on.

Shoo.

I could fall asleep,
and never wake up.
That thought, that fact, terrifies me.
But it fascinates me more.

Watching in the distance,
a dove wading in the water.
Goosebumps crawled
and infested her skin.
Stubborn to dive in,
Growing numb.
Gradually the clear sky turned gray
still you stayed.
Waiting as the ocean
mirrored the same color.
She dipped her tangerine beak first.
And leisurely,
white gold foam on his surface sunk.
And together,
With the moon shine passage across his back,
covered in the blanket of dusk,
accompanied by
the freedom of the quiet crickets chirping.
Calmly they curved with the current
and swam away into the horizon.

Next door’s cat,
alone as they’ve gone away
on holiday,
slouched on the lawn,
our garden.

A monochrome tube
flops over, turns over,
liquorice eyes peer up,
a rolling pin
kneading the green.

Thinks it owns the place,
can lounge about
wherever it pleases
drizzled in June honey,
‘round ours for a week.

It knows when I am close,
a mewling baby,
rises like an overweight man
from an armchair
and asks to be loved.

Fluorescent flickers illuminate the stained cement floors of the hallway. Your slippered feet music an uneven pad and scuff. This ***** city is home, whatever that means. This ***** city holds you like you're someone else's child. A burst of joy and music reaches for you through the window; someone bangs a door and you turn on the tap. As water sputters onto your toothbrush you catch a whiff of Dakota Jim's racist southern drawl, a puff of his ketamine breath.

You walk to the window, toothbrush dangling.

[Oh London, I know you love no one, but nights like this I feel your heartbeat in your embrace.]

History swells beneath your feet. Your eyes land on a seated figure, his grand headdress of feathers overpowering the tableau, his gaze calmer than the other mad happy swirls that make up the crowd. It makes you wonder what he sees. Probably nothing. You will learn that when he seems profound it is usually an accident. You are penned in by jagged skyline hieroglyphics. History swells. Your heavy hearted story is a speck consumed in all this history. All the history you were taught in school was death, you remember your mother bemoaning this war generals and battle dates history. You wonder at how much death this place has seen, how many lives the city has birthed and eaten, hungry mother staving off starvation.

We all write our stories on other people's bones. Of course the greatest cities would leave the greatest scars. And what did you come here looking for anyway?

[Hello Momento Mori city. I see you. I see your rooftops straining to **** stars. Do you mourn for your dead? Are they heavy in your belly? Are you going to eat me, too?]

But now, if you drag your little mind back from the immensities, everything around you is alive. Everyone is dancing, happy to be caught in her belly. Or her womb. Not one of you knows which, but there you are. In the courtyard, the small, steady figure of Freddie Stitz brings a lit cigarette to his lips and smiles up at you in the window.

Wipe that toothpaste off your face, you look ridiculous. Go back to bed.

I am a bundle of scars
Ambidextrous
There are too many holes
In my arms
The veins are hiding
Warm fingers coax them
Come back to me
The dog returning to its *****
Hands well calloused
Smelling of diesel and grease
All fun no business
Makes me suicidal
I swore I would never become my father
But the universe finds that funny

If you would come to me
Tell me its alright
I would pass through
The blood-brain barrier
And warm your skin like sunrise
I am a son among the ******
My body feels brittle and ancient
My bones like old stone ruins
Covered in thick green moss
I prize your lies
Kept sealed in jars
Their dim glowing
Keeps me awake

Show me your claws
Show me your fangs
Scrape them on my skull
Play a song on my brain
Impulse control
Dissolved on a spoon
Momentary salvation
And eternal doom

Pincoushin
Nobody else can hurt me
Quite like myself
I've built a tolerance
To everything but you
They'll find my corpse
Tangled in the reeds
Fish eating pieces of me
And taking some home to the family

I am glorified fertilizer
A stacked up dung hill
I think I am something
In my monkey suit and tie
I cannot wait to die
And be at your side

Her head was covered in stubble
That's where her hair used to be
She touched me with cold fingers
And black serpents writhed in my chest

I could bite my bottom lip off
And gag on my own blood
I come around head swimming
Her fingers in my chest hair
Had me running for the matchbox

She kept the lighter lit a while
And I watched it dance on the end of a safety pin
White hot
We locked eyes
She had me
Third degree
Beneath her thumb

In between the black charred lines of skin
Her tongue would run
Nostrils filled with that smell of cooked flesh
If this is love
I understand

All night long we kept the fire going
Burning old photographs and books for tinder
Not hot enough
Not bright enough

So we lit our little house on fire
Nowhere left to fight-scream-throw things
Not hot enough
Not bright enough

A spark hop
The neighbors house
Smoke alarms screaming like a newborn baby
Spreading so fast
God couldn't stop it
The whole city burned like a cherry
Sirens screech

If this is love
*******

Door slams, you’re gone.
Silence becomes my apartment.
With the exception of the rain,  
I only hear my own thoughts.
They’re killing me.  

I don’t know how to be here, in this space.  
I don’t know how to be here, looking you in the face.
Feeling no love, but giving all I have.
I don’t know how to be here.  

No contact or apologies or doorbells.
Are you gone for good?
Maybe it’s better this way.  
We fight almost everyday.
I’m not sure if you love me the way you say you do.

I don’t know how to be here, in this space.
I don’t know how to be here, looking you in the face.
Feeling no love, but giving all I have.
I don’t know how to be here.

My mind is cluttered with memories, good and bad.
My heart- empty and my soul- confused.
You’ve given me happiness and utter heartbreak at the same time.
Whatever you gave, I accepted anxiously.
Until you took it all away from me.  

I don’t know how to be here, I don’t know how to be here.
I don’t want to be here anymore.

the more you hate
the more you waste
the more you lose control