I need to stop feeling so indifferent
I need to find a new hobby
I need to be a happier person
I need to let my emotions drown me

I need air
I need news
I need help
I need you

I need to stop crying when I look in the mirror
I need to stop thinking things are all fine
I need to face that simple cold truth
I need to remember you are no longer mine

I need air
I need news
I need love
But not from you

you're so precious;
a kiss on the cheek.
a comforting squeeze,
statement made while half asleep.

you're so precious;
arms wrapped around my head
to keep from falling off the edge
of your pitiful college twin size bed

you're so precious;
not quite an "I love you"
but with eyes bright and hair askew,
I know you mean it. I know you do.

It's a blessing and a curse
To be nothing
Nothings better, nothings worse
Than being nothing.
Those pretty bruises on your neck
Keep my wild hopes in check,
Every time you return,
I mean nothing.
                                     ...and
It's a horrible game,
Meaning something.
Fleeting feelings always change
Yet theres something.
The way you look into my eyes
Under those endless starry skies.
I'll never really know
If we're something.

i guess that's all i'll ever be to you.
and im alright with that.

but sometimes i wish you could see my smile
when you play ukulele over the phone.
and i wish you knew how the memory
of your hands in mine
helps me sleep a little better at night.
and that i feel a little less lonely when
i listen to the songs you write.

but i am a homie of the highest degree
and yeah sometimes it hurts,
but its okay with me.

that's me.
         i'm the idiot.

the one that's always assuming
my sentiment is returned

the one that's always hoping
in vain, just to get burned.

it's me.
         i'm an idiot.

it was a lovely song, really.
i always knew it was about her.

but even a little part of me
broke a little more when you confirmed.

it's only me.
          i'm The Idiot.

then i gave you the coordinates
of my only safe space

i trusted you with the knowledge
that here i lose face.

and that was my biggest mistake.

                 look at me.
                 look at my poetry.

and tell me
             i'm not the idiot.

The aching in my chest hasn’t left
Since you texted me
That you were leaving.
                         I stood in the grocery store
                        And cried as I read the words
                        Hovering above your head.
I lost myself that night.
Told you I was fine,
But i spent the rest of my time
In those two days after
Trying to get you
Out of my mind.
                         It didn't really work.
Sleeping used to be easy.
Every night, i’d see you,
And in the morning I’d cry.
                         In a week,
                         I stopped wanting to sleep.
The only thing
That helped me drift
Was listening to your music.
Pretending it was written
For me.
                        A month and ten days.
When I last saw you
Guitar in hand
Head swaying to the tunes,
                        I wish I had gotten to at least
                        Say goodbye.
I didn't know
It was going to be
Six months
Until I’d be with you again.

                        I miss you.

Bumblebee
Blue, and cold.
He stares up from his perch
of raspberry and goji rose--
the neck of his resting place
hooked between my fingers, swinging.
Back,
And forth.
Back and Forth.
The rhythm of my stride
In time with his dance,
And entire existence suspended
Within the fringe of my hand.
Yet I trip,
I slip and his world
Shatters--
Glinting, Indigo, and
tattered.