Sometimes I don't even know if I'm sad,
If I actually want to be happy,
What if I actually want to stay sad,
What if all I'm doing
Is just because
I crave for
Attention.
That'd be really bad,
All the attention I'm already getting,
Is it not enough?
Have I really become that
Selfish?
All the little
Challenges
The people around me
Go through,
Have you really neglected them all?
Is it really because
You're depressed
And so you've
Wallowed up in this
Hole of depression
Cut off yourself from the rest of the world?
Or is this just
Intentional?
I don't even know
If i genuinely feel anymore
Or if all these thoughts
Are words from the devil.
I just hope
The people I love
Are fine,
Or more than ok
Hopefully.
It's just sad
That no one shares their problems anymore,
Worried they'll add on to mine,
When really,
It's doing
The opposite.
But it's my fault again
Isn't it?
For being sad in the first place,
For sharing the problems with you,
For bothering you
Time and time again,
It's all just me.
Me, myself and I.
Is that all that's in your mind?
What have you become?
Selfish ****.