hello my ocean, we haven't talked in a while and i am drunk, so please forgive my frankness. i miss you like earth would miss the sun, i miss you like the air, i miss your face and your hair, i miss you. wholesomely and forever. every day we grow millimeters apart. i have come to the supreme realization that from the point when you intentionally separated us, we have become opposing magnets, and our hearts only seem to be able to push away. how i long to grasp you, hold on to your body, until the natural force of our separation rips me apart and spills my blood all over the landscape beneath our heavens above. but you wouldn't want that would you? all you want from me is to go quietly into the dark, so you can bask in your shining independence. so i will go. without fight, without struggle or scene. but know my love is still there, in the dark damp hole you walked away from, starving for the light. hoping the tides change, and you are swayed to seek my being.

goodnight, my love.

these days, i wish i had laser vision. that way when i walk the streets filled with filth and rich folk, i could vaporize the useless ******* that want to be treated like kings when their stepping on the spines of our dreams. i want to be able to blacken the sky and boil the ocean just to see the terror on our faces. watch as we run around like ants being stepped on by a horrible snot-nosed little god. i want bombs to fall from the dark nothing above, ejected from the heavens and lay waste to my dingy little city, turning everything we know to ash.

my ghost would dance in the dust that was once you and me and the good things, the ugly things and even the things i loved. my ghost will spit on the dirt to confirm that this world is no longer sacred.

your heart bleeds red, vibrant and oxygenated by the courage of your sacrifice. my heart bleeds dust. ***** and old as time can tell, it spits out the earth and sand for my fallen love. no liquid except of course the tears, but there's not enough to even make mud anymore.

awake is pain that keeps our legs moving in this never ending storm. only my many mistakes follow me in this harsh realm, like my many shadows, whispering in my ear.

i have gone mad. for the dead are living and tell me my day is done.

i hate you. you invade my thoughts, you linger in my memories. I've tried to move on and you won't let me. you are the dark spot in my vision that will not fade. i was caught in your spiderweb forever ago and no matter how i struggle and fight, i can never shake loose because i am but skin and bones. the mist on my life is clearing, i now understand that every moment in this godforsaken world is insignificant no matter how much we believe otherwise. and in that, we are free. you hurt me so deep it shifted my earth. and even though my life is around a new corner, i fear you'll be in my heart forever.

sitting, watching the rain fall onto a foggy window, love is gone. only mindless repetition and walking with no particular place to go. no more flying. unfortunately, i have been awakened to the sad fact that i am but a humble land creature and gravity has cursed me with the dirt as my master. so for now i sit, watching the birds fly by in silence. wishing i had ended my world, when i had my motivation.

running, laughter, heart break, suicide, born again, hopped up, multiply, try to fly, freak of nature, loved one, skinned knee, bold as che, blood on it all, can't stop the fall, rock bottom, ocean floor, math class , chocolate girl, stumbling, feelings hurt, crying alone, worthless drone, time to go,wipe it away, skipping, flying, sleeping, hugging, yelling, screaming, thumping, stupid thoughts, drunken tears, eternal lovers, cut down trees, life, darkness, dumb stuff, broken soul, god help us all.

a breath, like an echo. my chest rises and falls in the lonesome dark. nothing but the soft hum of my electric abacus to keep my attention. the darkened corners pumping out shadows only one's soul could truly feel. i sit alone, my space filled with my thoughts of you and yesterday. I'm tired of this solemn place, forever sparse, my memories slowly choking me dry and instead of fighting or struggling or breathing real progress, my eyes get heavy and i just end up sleeping. these walls are blank now, the love that coated them crumbled away such a long while ago, like old paint. cracking and peeling. now their just stained an ugly yellow and *****. sickly looking, i suspect, much like my insides.

light peaks through the my dusty curtains now, but this is not the light of hope or change. its bleak and hollow. when felt, it has no warmth. its only purpose is to taunt and trick the fools who dream of the sun.